A lonley Cutter (OPEN FOR ANYONE)

[Xuxa_Rene]

The sound of an alarm clock pierces the predawn morning. Breaking her from her light slumber Danielle rolled on to her side slowly and stared at her alarm clock the red numbers came into focus 6:00…she groaned her hand came down and she hit the snooze button and closed her eyes again. She had just gotten to sleep 3 hours ago. She was tired and didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to face another day in school. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP her alarm interrupted her sleep again.

“Stupid mornings” she mumbled groggily rolling out of bed she changed the pajama pants for a pair of blue jeans, slipped on a t-shirt wincing as the cloth rubbed up against her new cut marks, she looked at them, glistening there in the morning light. Thirteen marks, all up her arm. They had begun to close up with the dried blood, she knew better then to wash them, last thing she needed was for the blood to be visible during class she was already a loner she did not want to be known as the “cutter” as well. Last night her weapon of choice had been her trusted box cutter. She loved the feeling of the blood dripping down her arm, releasing some of the pain that she was feeling inside, the pain that made it hard to breathe,

She had began cutting when her father was deployed to Afghanistan, and it only escalated when word came that his Armored vehicle had hit a road side mine he had died. A knock on the door snapped her back into reality “Dani come on its time to go” It was her older brother. She quickly slipped on a hoddie, and grabbed a fresh pair of socks. She opened her door got into the bathroom brushed her hair and teeth, went back into her room got her back pack and met her brother in the car. “Thank you for the ride today Dustin” They rode in numbed silence. They both hated school. Both were treated like freaks for the way they lost their father.

As they pulled up Danielle nodded her thanks again to Dustin and stepped out of the car placed her Ipod earphones in her ears and entered the school made it to her locker and began to fiddle with the lock. Then slid down and sat her back against the lockers her eyes closed her music so loud that the hallway around her was just a dull roar. She ignored the numerous people purposely walking into her.

Finally she had enough she stood and deicide to check the theater out first, she loved the theater! It was a way to escape her life and her fellow actors didn’t judge her, the actually seemed to care. And when on stage she could at least pretend to be normal, what ever that was. She tried the door LOCKED! SHe sighed and went to the cafeteria and sat down at a table, opened her school bag and took out her 1st period homework that she hadn’t finished and buried herself into her books, as the school slowly began to fill up. 730, the bell would be ringing in 30 minutes.

Man how she hated school. She didn’t have any friends other then the theater people. She glanced up as the cafeteria began to fill up the cheerleaders walking behind her purposely running into her chair or hitting her across the back of her head. Oh they will pay! Just wait! She told herself as he finished up her homework and packed up ready to leave. If only one person would reach out, is that too much to ask for?

[Guest]

Alex was back in school. He was a senior this year but he was alot older then the other kids. Where they were 17 going on 18 he was 19 going on 20. He had left school at the end of his junior year and had joined the Army. His dad had been deployed to Iraq and had been killed there and he wanted to do some pay back for it. He had lied about his age and had fake documentation so he could get in. He got his wish and had went off to Iraq where he found out just what it was like to be in a war. He watched as freinds died, got blown to pieces by IED's and messed up. He himself was wounded three times but was back into it only a few days after each one.

By the time they figured out he had falseified his birth certificate and Highschool diploma, he had three purple hearts and a silver star for saving his squad from annilation. They had been pinned down by millitants and cut off from the rest of the platoon. Two of the squad was severely wounded and didn't have much time before they would be dead. Alex moved from rock pile to rock pile of rubble under heavy fire, took out three insurgents with a grenade, charged in his M16 on full auto, took out three more and then in hand to hand combat, with his bayonet took on two more and killed them. When it was over he had killed 8 insurgents by himself, was wounded the third time, and made it possible to get an evack helo in to get his two buddies back to medical help.

It was shortly after that that they found out from his mother that he had lied about his age. Even though now he had been with the Army over two years, they had to discharge him. An honorable discharge and with them wanting him back after he actusally graduated from highschool.

But the experince had left him scared in a sence. He had nightmares about his time in Iraq. He would wake up in a cold sweat, breathing heard. At school the kids basicly shunned him as a wierdo. None knew his past.

As he stood up in the caffiteria to go to his first class he noticed a girl sitting by herself. Well he had noticed her there earlier and how the cheer leaders purposely bummped into her chair and smacked her on the back of the head. Stupit prepy bitches he thourght. As he got close to her and she got up to leave he said, "Why do you let those stupid bitches do that to you?"

[Xuxa_Rene]

Danielle looked up him in utter surprise, it had been months since anyone outside of teachers and drama people had spoken to her. Ever since they had seen her and her brother on the news awaiting for the casket of their father. One would think that would gain sympathy but it just branded her a freak. For she never cried, even as she was handed the flag that had drapped her fathers coffin, no one had seen her cry. So they called her heartless and told her that he father had died for nothing.

She stamered then attempted to shrug it off the action caused her bag to slip down her arm rubbing againt the fresh swollen marks. Danielle winced slightly then looked back up at the stranger. “I don’t care what they do…if they have to make themselves feel big by making others feel small, what does that say about them?” She was reciting something her father had always said. “My father also said…I mean says…that” She grimmaced, she just didn’t want him to brand her the daughter of a dead soldier.

She brought a hand to her neck where his dog tags hung around her neck hidden from view. She knew she wasn’t suppose to have them, but she took them anyeays. She needed something to feel close to him by. Her mother had walked out on the family when her father had been first deployed. It had been her that accepted the flag at the funeral, her that had to give the press conferences. Realizing that she was lost in her own thoughts she smiled up at him. “Are you new here? I don’t know if I have seen you” She paused. She didn’t want to blow someone talking to her, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a set up to a cruel and heartless joke. But she decided to risk it, if he was new he would need help. “Uhhh my name is Danielle,” She paused. “If you are new here, I suggest staying clear of me, I am known as a bit of a freak” She started to walk away. “But I can show you were your frist class is…what ever it happens to be. I am a senior, and yourself” She thought he looked a bit older but she defitanly didn’t want to assume anything.

[Guest]

"I would not let them get away with a damn thing." he told her. "If the jocks around here try anything like that on me, they will find out the true meaning of pain." He saw her wince when her bag fell onto her arm. He wondered what caused it. The stumbling over what her father said or had said also did not slip past him. But he said nothing. He had no right to pry into someone's personal life.

"No, not really new here. I went here two years ago, but have been away. Now I am back and finishing school." he smiled. "I know most of the teachers, they haven't changed since I have been gone. Name is Alex Morgan. Come on I'll walk you to your first class."

[Xuxa_Rene]

Danielle nodded. She belived that no one would mess with him, he looked very rough and tough, like he had been through the wringer. “You seem a bit untouchable truth be told, they like to pick on me because I don’t fight back I know I make myself a easy contact, but soon enough I will be invisable” She spoke the words but to her they meant nothing, she didn’t realize what impact her words would have.

She continued to listen to him to him. So he had been away, she didn’t have the faintest idea why and she came to the conclusion that she would never know for it wasn’t her right to ask, no one had asked her about her family, so she assumed that’s how things went. “Well welcome back, and i am with you I do not belive this school wll ever change, I still think when they built this school they got the blueprints mixed up wth a jail.” She shrugged and readjusted the bag.

As he stated his name she smiled. “Alex, nice name” She paused. “My name is Danielle, Danielle Bloddgett, but you can call me Dani if you want” She sighed her mother had attmepted to get them to change their last names when their father was deployed but they had both refused, she was a Bloddgett and would be one forever. She was proud of her father and it angered her to think that anyone would be ashamed of it.

She turned towards her class. “I have acting first.” She paused then absentmiddly recited her day. “Acting, then English, Lunch, then History, and lastly free period.” She then looked up at him “Sorry I guess you didn’t need to know my class schedule” As they neared her class. “I thank you Alex and welcome back”

[Guest]

Alex had journalism first period. He listened to her schedule and it seemed they had the same lunch hour. "Well then I will see you at Lunch if that is alright?" He smiled as she went to her first class. His was just down the hall way. When he entered, it all looked the same as it had when he had left. Only there were some articles on the walls from various newspapers. One caught his eye. About a Staff Sergeant Bloddgett that was killed in Afganistan.

He read the article of how he had died and of how he had left a son and daughter behind. He then knew that Dani's father had died in combat, as his father had. He knew how rought that was, especialy when you are close and love that person. She was probably haveing a very rough time from it. The damn cheerleaders should be more sympathitic towards her. But their parents were probably rich and never served in the armed service and had to put their lives on the line.

Mr. Johnson welcomed Alex back. He was about to tell the class about Alex but he shook his head and gave Mr. Johnson a look that told him not to. He didn't want people knowing right then and there where he had been the last two years.

When Lunch time came he went back to the cafateria and looked for Dani.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani watched him walk away a bit surprised, he actually wanted to see her again? She couldn’t help but wonder why. Soon though he would realize how much of a freak she was and then he would join in the laugterand taunting she she would enjoy this as it came.

Acting was uneventful they were given their next assignment, write and proform a monologue. She read it over. Simple enough, Dani excelled at work like this she was a very creative person. The topic kinda worrired her though she had two choice. The first one was to write as if someone she was close to was speaking to her, the second was to take something that is affecting people today and do a monologue on that. The examples given were Divorce, drug abuse, bulling in the schools, selfharming or the war.” As she read the last one she clenched her jaw and took out a piece of paper and stared at it. What was she going to do it on? She couldn’t have everyone knowing what she was, but… Her thoughts were intrupted by the teacher. “Also people do not forget the metting for the class play starts on Monday after school anyone interested please sign up.” With that the bell rang and she gathered her bags the teacher reached out to her. “About that last example I…” Dani shook her head “Don’t worry Ms Polgar its fine really’ She flashed one of her fake smiles and raced to English.

In English there was pop quiz and the rest of it was a blur, they were suppose to be working on their poetry but like normal everyone was gossiping about the weekend. Dani just worked hard kept her head low and ignored the paper balls being thrown at her head. When that bell rang she gathered her bag opened up her locker stared at the pictures of her father. There were her and him camping, then his media realeased one and others her locker door was covered in them and in encourage words that he had sent her. She put her books in there and went towards the cafietira.

She did not espect him to be there but took a seat anyways watching it fill up it was then that she saw him standing there. She stood and waved to him attracting some snickering from surronding tables. She ignored them and sat back down and waited to see what he was going to do. The choice was his now, sit down with the freak or try and be popular.

[Guest]

He noticed the snickering and the talk as she waved to him. He purposely moved through that area, knocking into their chairs making them spill their drinks on themselves. When they began to say something he gave them a look that made them freeze their mouths open. Another he stuck his foot out and the kid tripped and spilled his food all over another kid that had been laughing at her.

He then walked up to her table with his tray and placed it on the table and sat down next to her. Everyone looked, eyes wide and whispering began. He gave her a smile as he sat down. He looked around the room at those looking at them and all eyes shifted away. "That should tell them something."

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani watched him come towards her. She couldnt hide the surprise on her face. As he did to them what they had done to her. When he gave that look the hairs on her neck stood on end. Something about Alex seemed so familier but she knew that she had never seen him before. She shook her head against the thought she was just being paranoid.

As he sat down she couldnt help but grin at the onlookers she shrugged her shoulders and looked at him. "Yes I do belive so." She looked down at her hands then back at him. "Thank you." She nodded. "So how was your first two classes?" She was trying hard just to be normal and not the abnormal person that she was.

[Guest]

"They were alright. A bit hard trying to get back into the swing of things. But things are progressing well." he didn't say anything about what he had found out about her father. He figured she was some how considered a freak because of what had happened. He wanted to let her know that she was not alone in losing her father.

"Before I left here two years ago things were much simpler. My mother and I lived here waiting for my father to return from overseas. He did but not the way we wanted him to return. He was killed in Iraq." he said slowly. "I miss him. We were very close." he was looking at her when he was talking and then he looked around at the people in the cafateria.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani nodded. She could realte to having to get used to things again. But he didn’t need to hear her sob story, she had learned that many people had gone through worse. And it didn’t really matter for she was suppose to be the strong one. The one that didn’t need anyone or anything to lean on, she even had turned down the councelling that had been offered for she didn’t want to seem weak.

She stared at him as he spoke and was surprised. Her eyes widdened to his words. He knew what she was going through. She looked up at him. “I am sorry for your loss” She recited the words that were told to her at the funeral. She sighed softly and looked up at him. She longed to tell him about her father but she didn’t want to seem like she was trying to take away from his loss.

She noticed that he wasn’t looking at her so she took a moment to toy with her necklace. On the one chain held his dog tags and the cross that he always wore. She sighed softly and dropped her hands and took a sip of her water.

“So Alex what are your two final blocks?” She knew it sounded heartless but she was despert to change the subject lest it gets turned to her. She was worried that he had the classes that she knew he would run into her family’s story. She closed her eyes and rubbed her arms then winced from the pain. She couldn’t wait until she was home so she could realease the pain she was feeling again.

Two more blocks and she was free for another day. Sure her last block was a free block but she didn’t want to miss a chance to talk to Alex again so she would stay behind and just work on homework until the final bell went.

[Guest]

Her question brought him back to looking at her as he began to eat. I have History and Math the last two periods." The cafateria food was the same as before he left. Not to apetising. Military food was much better. He missed that. It still felt strange being back home. He had lived with good comrades for the past two years. Men that watched your back. The people at home were almost strangers to him. Yes he knew people but they seemed almost strangers.

He fought beside his comrades, watched them die and bleed. Sat by their side giving them comfort and encouraging words even when he knew that there was no hope for them. Since being home, he had been having nightmares, reliving those times.

"Do you need a ride home after school?" he asked her. "I have a car and I wouldn't mind."

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani nodded. “So we have history together, this made her nervous they requently got into debates about war and the need for them, or the lack there of. She chewed her bottom lip. Dani was not aware of the visual clues that she sent in the way she sat, talked and acted. She didn’t even realize what she was doing until she tasted the blood in her mouth she ceased what she was doing and took a long drink of the water to wash the taste out. “Well history should be…interesting to say the least” She attempted to shrug it off. “A bunch of know nothing wannabees…” She trailed off. She was about to say dishonering the memory of the fallen, but that would give away one of her secrets.”

When he offered the ride she immeditaly nodded before even fully thinking about it. Dread consummed her. There was a yellow ribbon on her door and a flag flying in her yard, it was the same flag that flew at the base where her father was stationed. But she remained with her first answer. He would have to know sooner or later and it was better to find out now then later when she had grown accostomed to having somene other then her brother to tak to. “Thank you, my brother has practice so I would have been stuck here until 6pm” She looked around the cafiteria her brother was nowhere to be seen, she still had to make sure he took his meds. But they would met up when the bell rang.

As if on clue the bell rang and she stood. “I need to get my bags and I will met you at class. Before he could say a word she stood and raced to her looker momentaly forgettng that her locker was in plain view of where they had been seated her brother showed up and Dani greated him. Opened her locker and pulled out two bottles of pills and placed one of each into his hands and handed him a extra bottle of water and watched as he took them then double checked his mouth. “Dustin I wont be needing a ride after your practise I ….I found another way home” Her brother looked worried but simply nodded, it wasn’t unnormal for her to walk home even though it was over 3 miles away. Her brother nodded gave her a small hug and then ran off to her class. Dani grabbed her books and slammed her locker shut and walked off to class.

[Guest]

Before he could say anything she was up and gone. He had seen how she kept wince when she touched her arms and a couple other things that made it evident that she was probably trying to deal with the loss of her father in her own way. He got up and went to his locker, pulled out the books he was going to need and went off to his next class.

He had delt with his father's death in his way. Joining the army and killing those that had killed his father. They may not have been the ones that actually did it, but he didn't care, they were all responsible in his eyes. America had gone in there and gotten rid of Saddam and tried to help them build a new country. But there were those that didn't want to lose their POWER over the people and talked shit to them and made them believe that america was evil. They would send these people out to kill themselves but would they go out themselves, strapped with explosives and blow themselves up? Hell no. 'Who would lead the people if I die?" or some noncence like that would be their excuse.

Well he had taken out quite a number of the insurgents. Most of the people he had found quite like everyone else except there customs which he had no quarl with. Differnt people differnt customs. The majority of the people he had not quarl with either, just those that wanted to try and kill americans. Now he was home and not doing that. He felt out of place. Among those that mostly were immature kids that had no clue what life really was like.

Time went by and it was time for History. He could relate to the wars in history now. Now that he had been in one. He walked in and took a seat in the back.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani had made it to class just after him. The fact that he was seated beside the seat that she normally took made her heisatate a second. In this class it would be harder to hide her thoughts. But she braced herself and entered the room and sat down beside him. “Well we met again, sorry that I ran off on you I had to make sure my brother took” She trailed off “Knew that I was getting a ride home so he doesn’t panick after his practise. She opened up her binder and turned to a clean piece of paper. She turned to him “We were discussing America’s roles in Veit Nam and how it relates or does not releate to our role in Iraq, She paused and lowered her gaze. “Many think the don’t belong there or in Afganistain, my stance is you can not abandon those people again, or my…I mean many would have died in vain’ She then looked back at him again. “We do get into heated debabts.”

As if on clue someone walked by and dropped a internet article on the first page it showed a woman holding a child. The child was clearly dead and the heading read. “Stray Bullets kill Toddler” She flipped the page over and it showed a humvee blowen up. And that heading read “Evil dooers get what they deserve” Dani simply read it and folded it up and tucked it away and did her normal shrug. “See what I mean?”

When the class started Dani tried to pay attention but it was difficult the teacher was showing news clips of soldiers engaging with isurgants, stuff that was played 24/7 on CNN when the war first started Dani was abentmindly clenching her jaw. When the clips finally ended her teacher stood and cleared her throat. “Now this assingment can be done in pairs” She stared and Danielle “Or by yourself but I want you to get examples of how the media protrayed the other wars and compare them to how they are covering this one, and if that has anything to do with the outcome of the wars” Danielle wrote down the assingment in her agenda. In each coloum was each subjects homework, her rehersals, and preformances, her brother practises and games. Amoung other notes.

She turned back to Alex. “Well that one wasn’t that bad I guess. She paused. “Other then the over used clips So you have math next, so I will met you in the library when you are done your class. I am just going to get started on my homework” She was rambling but the clips had made her uneasy and she was eager to get out of the class so she could get to the bathroom and cut. She normally just did do it at home but she had taken to doing it at school in the bathroom. She would close the door in one of the stalls and take a razor and carve into her arm. The teacher cleared her throat. “Remember students that project is due at the end of the month, the more effort the higher your grade will be, you have the rest of the class to start.” Dani nodded and turned back to Alex. “We get a lot of projct and assignments in this class, don’t know if the teacher likes to teach the course”

((Sorry its so late was a bit busy today))

[Guest]

Alex sat there and watched the footage of the battles between american soldiers and insurgents. He felt himself being there again. The class room was gone and he was in the middle of battle. The Squad Leader was shouting orders and Alex and the others moved to postions to give cover fire for another squad trying to take out a number of insurgents holed up in a building. The sounds of gunfire, explosions of grenades and RPG's, the smell or cordite and dust and blood filled his sences.

Her voice brought him out of it. He shook his head as he looked around the room. "Sorry I was caught up in the film clips." He hoped she did not notice how badly he was sweating or the racing of his heart. The adrenaline was pumping as it had when he was actually in combat. What is our assignment?" he asked her. He had heard what she had said about meeting her in the library after school.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Danielle looked over at Alex. Worry consumed her eyes but she attempted to cover it up. She couldn’t be seeingwhat she was and she just assumed that she was trying to read to far into things. She shook her head to rid her head of the thoughts that she was having. But still her father seemed this way after his first tour. He had first been in Iraq then during his third and last deployment he was sent to Afghanstan, and….no it couldn’t be.


“Well the assisgment is to compare the media coverage of this war and compare it to pass wars and to show him if the media has anything to do with the outcome of the wars.” She shurgged ‘The class can work in pairs, but I normally work alone.” She shrugged seems to be the way it goes.

She then took a deep breath and handed her the papers that had been dropped on her desk to prove her point. “The figure this is news, they hear something and they belive it. If the CNN reported that it was raining purple rain they would belive it.” She shrugged again. Then again looked at him worriedly “Alex are you Okay? We can get out of here if you want, we can just say we are going to the library” Around them a lot of discussion was going on but none of it was about the assigment.

She was concered about Alex but she didn’t want to push she she simply offered a way out of the classroom. She wondered if the class room was closing in on him as it was on her. She nervously chewed her bottom lip while she waited for his answer she took a quick glance at the clock they had about 20 minutes left in this class. Then she had her free block and he had math. Once he was gone she would go into the bathroom, she was desperte to feel anything.

[Guest]

Alex smiled. I'm alright. It is .....well just.... when I see things like that I get distracted. How could he tell her of what he was experiencing, of what he had went through while he was in Iraq. It was so strange being in a place where he didn't have to worry about bombs going off, peope shooting at you and hearing the sounds of battle in the distance. He had gotten use to it, and while he was there it had never bothered him when he tried to sleeep. Now though with the peace and quite, it seemed a bit unnerving.

He had read the articles on other service ment returning from the war and having a hard time adjusting to civilian life, or even being with family while still in the army. Some could not handle it and did things that seemed insane. But to these guys, it was all perfectly sane to them. "Lets stay and begin what she wants us to work on. I'll work on it with you. I have a few ideas and thoughts on it."

When the class was over he walked her to her next class, the Library. He reached a hand up and caressed the side of her face. "I am glad we met today." he told her smiling. He was glad. She was different then the others around, new of loss and of how to treat those that fought for their country. "See you at the end of the next class."

He broguht a finger over to her lips and lightly lent over them with it, before leaving her to go to his next class. That hour seemed to dragg on but when it was finally over he walked back to the Library to wate for Dani. Waiting for others to arrive the a couple of the schools ROTC people leaned against the wall their wooden rifles leaning also against the wall. Four of the Jocks, football players approached. "hey look who is here? It's the freeks boy friend." they all laughed at the Quarterbacks little quip.

"Whats it to you squeeky." he replied.

The guy didn't like the tone of Alex's voice, and moved up so he was in Alex's face. "You got a problem little boy." Alex asked grinning. The Quarterback face was livid and he steped bac and took a swing at Alex. Bad mistake for him. Alex blocked the swing , spun and kicked the quarterbacks legs from under him making him fall hard on his ass. The other three moved in and Alex grabbed one of the wooden rifles and used the butt end to hit one in the stomach, brought it around and hit the second across the neck with the barrel as if it were a bayonet, but knocking the boy to the side. The third found the barrel of the rifle in his gut and him doubling over . The Quarterback was trying to get to his feet but Alex pushed him down again with a booted foot and looked down at him.

He tossed the wooden rifle to the ROTC cadet who caught it, his eyes still wide at what had just took place. "Interesting." Came a voice from behind him. Alex turned and saw the ROTC insturctor standing there. In the little scuffle, the right sleve of Alex's T shirt had pulled up to reveal a tatoo there. The ROTC instructor saw it and raised his sleve up more and looked at the full tatoo, then at Alex. "Only one place I know does a tatoo like that, and it is only given to soldiers."

"Yes Sir. That is correct." Alex replied coming to attention before the Officer. The instructor smiled and nodded, then turned to the quarterback and his friends with a hard look. The four of them got to their feet and moved off, rubbing their sore spots.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani didn’t fully belive that he was alright but she nodded her head. It wasn’t her place to push anything. She nodded again as he suggested they stayed. She couldn’t hide her surprise when he said he would work with her. She staired at him. “Uhh, that would be great” She stammered. “I would really like that, I havent had a partner in a long time.” She gave one of her shrugs. “I guess no one wants to work with the frea- I mean me.” She was actually a little bit excited about having a partner to do it. One that understood. His father had died in action as hers had. She knew that they would have a common thoughts and expericances of it.

As the class ended she walked with him to the library a small smile actually graced her face. As he carrassed her face Dani instinctivly leaned into his hand. She looked up at him. “I am glad too Alex” She wanted to tell him that he was the first person she felt she could talk to since the news of her fathers death had been given to her. She was surprised as his finger traced her lips. It sent a strange sentations through her body but she liked it. She nodded again “Yes see you after class, I will be here.” She watched him walk away making sure that he was truly gone.

After she was sure he was gone Danielle slipped away and walked down the stairs to the bathroom. Locked herself in a stall sat herself down on the toliet lowered her bag to the ground and slipped off her hoddie. Her arm was covered in marks, some simple scratches others were deep groves which were raised on her arm. She sighed and opened her backpack and took out her small razor blade raised her t shirt and held the razor to her skin and pressing deeply she cut into her flesh. She watched as the blood begain to pool at the edge of the tool. She was breathing deeply. This is the way she had delt with everything. She didn’t cry. She hadnt cried and she would not allow herself to cry.

Danielle made seven more cut marks into her skin then watched them bleed the trail of blood racing down her arm she stopped it before it fell to the ground though. She did not know how long she had been there until she heard the bell. Hearing the bell she wrapped her arm in the extra gauze that she carried around replaced the razor blade stood and opened the door to the stall. She washed her hands then quickly raced to the library. Hopeing that Alex hadnt made it yet.

As she reached the library she saw Alex standing there and then he saw him get attacked she raced into the library but stopped as she saw what was going on. Her mouth dropped open as he saw him floor the quarter back. She took a step back and hid it the rows of books she could see inbetween the books. As the ROTC officer walk up to him. Dani prepared herself to challage any punisment tht was going to be given out. But it turned out none was needed. She could see the officer pull up his selve but couldn’t see what was on it. So she moved from her spot and started walking towards them. It was then that she heard the words. Alex a soldier? How could it be? But the way that he snapped to attention made it clear to her.

As the officer turned Danielle walked up to him. “Alex? Are you okay? I am sorry I wasn’t here…I was” She turned her gaze from him unable to look at him. “I was in the bathroom” She shrugged and slowly reached out to touch his tattoo but then she recoiled her hand. “Sorry its none of my…” She looked up at him. “Can we get out of here?” She was shuffling nervously on her feet, she knew what she had seen and heard, and if it was true and he had recived the same training that her father had recived she knew that he had seen her too. She was hating herself, if she wasn’t being selfish in the bathroom she would have been here and none of that would have happened. She was eager to get out of the school and just away from it all. “Please Alex?” Was all that she could muster, she could feel the eyes looking at her and she was beginning to feel as if the walls were closing in on her

[Guest]

Alex had been surprised by the ROTC officer's reaction to the incident. He had not condememed him for his actions nor did he report it. He knew he shouldn't have done it, but he was not going to back down from a fight and he wanted to show those that picked on others he was not to be messed with. Besides that it felt good. It helped him take out a bit of his fustration and anger. As Dani came up, trying to explain why she was not there and then reaching up to touch the now exposed tattoo he figured she had seen enough to let her know something was not quite what it seemed with him.

"Yes lets get out of here." he said and placed an arm about her resting his hand on the small of her back and began walking towards the front of the school where the parking lot was. People saw him with his arm about Dani and they all seemed surprised. He saw the Quarter back and his friends with the Cheerleaders and he gave them a look and they lowered their eyes, which made Alex smile. As they exited the school another group of kids approached them. These were those that weren't quite the accepted people with the little clicks in the school.

"Heard what you did to those Jocks man." One of the guys said, "Way cool dude. They deserved it and have been needing something like that." The guy stuck out his hand. "Names Tommy Reed." he looked over at Dani smiling and nodded at her. "You need help any time, just call on any of us. That includes you Dani." He nodded to the girls in their group.

Alex took Tommy's hand and shook it. "Alex Morgan." Tommy grinned and nodded to the others They in turn introduced themselves to him and Dani. The girls moved closer to Dani so she could get a good look at them. After that Tommy lead the group off but tuned. "Hey we are getting together later at Little Italy Pizzarea later. If you like, come on by." He then lit up a cigerate and slipped an arm around one of the girls as they walked off to the parking lot.

"What do you say Dani?" Alex asked. "Want to go with me?" he still had his arm about her. He was going to have to explain to her a few things. "I suppose you would like to know a few things about me." he turned so he was facing her bringing a hand up to her face again to caress it gently.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Danielle was greatful that he was willing to get out of there she was despret to talk to him. She knew that she would now have to tell him about her father. She wanted a quiet place though. She took a look at him as he put his hand around him. She gave him a quick smile.

As they walked off she could feel the looks that they were be given but she ignored them. She kept her eyes forward once in awhile stealing a glance up at Alex. She knew what she had heard but it hadnt fully hit her yet. Her mind was racing with questions. But she would hold back that was on thing she learned from her father, don’t ask questions, she would just wait for when, or if he was ready to talk. She saw the cheerleaders and jocks look at them then look down. That made her smile and lean into Alex just a little bit more.

When she saw the other group walk up to them she tensed, As the boy spoke though she relaxed. She nodded to him “I will I thank you” She smiled at the girls. As Tommy talked about the pizza place Dani nodded slowly and looked up at Alex. When they walked away she watched them then turned to Alex. When he asked the question she smiled broadly “I would love to” In truth she was a bit nervous. She hadnt been out with any one even a group of people but she was still looking forward to it.

As he carrassed her face she closed her eyes slightly. She loved the feeling of his hands on her skin. At his question she opened her eyes. “When ever you are ready Alex, I have learned not to push” She stopped herself before she continued. She looked up at him. “We can go somewhere private before the pizza place, my house or the park” She looked up at him. “Anything is fine with me Alex”

Dani also knew that she would eventually she would have to tell him about her father. She brought a hand to her neck and again felt her father’’s dog tags. She knew that if he even came close to her neck he would be able to tell that she was wearing them. How would she explain that she wanted to feel close to him and even though she knew wasn’t suppose to wear them but she didn’t care she would never take them off.

[Guest]

Alex lead her to his car, a 1965 Mustang. It was royal blue in color and had all the original parts. It had been his father's. He had helped restore it to what it was now. When his father died, he took it as his own and had put it in storage till he had come home. He opened the passenger door for her and let her climb in before walking around and getting into the driver's seat. The engine roared to life as he turned the key and he pulled out and drove off down the street.

"Where to begin?" he mused to himself mainly. "My father died in Iraq. Killed by insurgents as he lead his platoon to resque a squad that had been pinned down. When my mother and I got the visit from the chaplin and the army rep, I was angry, and soon was filled with hate against those that killed him. I wanted to go kill all fo them." he began, "I knew a couple people, that made fake ID's and talked them into making a forged Birth Certificate and Highschool Diploma, that made me older then I was. I used that to join the army."

He pulled into a parking spot at the park. It was not that far from the school but far enough away that they would not be disturbed by any one to soon. "I requested Iraq when I enlisted. After my basic and AIT training as an infantryman I was sent off there. That is where I got my tatoo." He rolled up his sleeve so she could see it. It was of an Eagle and below it read FREEDOM. "It is something that is only offered over in Iraq at the Air Base where soldiers are flown into."

He looked over at her and took one of her hands in his. "That is where I have been until just a couple weeks ago, when they finally found out I enlisted under false documents. They had to discharge me. " He sighed a sigh of releif. He finally was able to tell someone, and he wanted her to know.

[Xuxa_Rene]

As they pulled into the park she undid her seatbelt and turned her body so she could face him. As he continued the story she nodded to let him know that she was listening. This time when he pulled up his shirt she did reach out and touched it. She had seen the tattoo before but she couldn’t say where with out letting him know her story. She knew that he would eventually have to know. Maybe even her father had served with him…he had done two tours in Iraq. The chances of that were very slim and she knew that but she still held out the hope.

When he took her hand in his she pinched her lips together and looked up at him. “I thank you for telling me this Alex it means a lot to me.” She paused. She knew that she could trust him with her story. She didn’t want to dissmiss his story but she wanted him to hear it from her and not from the rumor weed.

“If you havent heard it already I am sure you have heard by nowShe looked down then brought hand to her neck and pulled out the hidden dog tags. Then looked back at him. “My father did two tours in Iraq, he was home was suppose to be home for a while but he got ordered to Afghanistan, his convoy…” Dani shallowed hard. “He humvee hit an IED and he died he was a Staff Sargent, he wasn’t even suppose to be on the road that day, it was his rest day but he wasn’t about to make his boys go alone.” She half smiled “He always called them his boys. They all loved him greatly he was a great leader.” This would be the point that most people would begin crying but not Dani she hadnt cried in so many years she doubted that she could ever cry again,

She fingered the dog tags. “I have not taken these off since they were handed to me” She shrugged again. “I know I am not suppose to wear them but I wanted to be close to him.” She chewed her bottom lip waiting for his response. She didn’t know how he would react. May she hoped that he would recognize the name.

[Guest]

Alex listened to her as she explained about her father. He had not heard the name before. He had not served with her father. They were probably in diferent units. So many people came and went from Iraq, rotating in and out. "I don't think anyone minds you wearing them. There is nothing to say you can not." he gave her hand a squeeze. He was glad she was able to tell him of her father. He could also relate to what she was feeling and going through. He took his agression out on becoming a soldier and killing the enemy.

"We have both lost someone we cared alot for. I know you have been going through alot and if you ever want to talk, vent, or anything let me know. I will listen." As he held her hand he felt something warm against it and looked down to see blood seeping from under the sleeve of her hoody. He pulled it back and saw the bloody gauze and then the cuts. He looked at her and brought a hand up to her face. "Oh Dani." he had a worried look on his face, and gripped her hand tighter.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani was slightly disapointed when he told her that he hadnt heard of her dad. She nodded “I know there are a lot so I guessed that you wouldn’t have.heard of him.” She did another shrug. She glanced up at him when he told her that no one would mind. “I was told that they were suppose to be put in the shadow box with his medals…” She looked down at them reading, like she had done million of times now then back at him. “You really think none would mind? I had been hidding them for I didn’t want them to be taken from me.” She then moved them so they hung on the outside of her clothes. “Much better”

Dani chewed her bottom lip as he spoke she could feel the wetness on her arms and knew that it was only too long before it would begin seeping through. She struggled to focas on what he was saying. She numbley nodded then closed her eyes as she saw the blood leak on to his hand. She attempted to pull away, she wanted to run away from him before he found out the full truth. But has he lifted the sleeve she knew it was too late.

As he brought a hand to her face she turned away from her. She hated herself right now. She shook her head “Don’t touch me I am disgusting” She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him and if he hadnt been holding on to her hand she would have opened the car door and run. Instead she took a breath and finally looked at him. Her eyes did not brim with tears but were void of anything. “I started after my father was deployed, I know you must think of me as weak but I didn’t know how to deal with everything, I am younger then my brother, he just had to repeat his senior year, our mother left our father after his 1st tour of duty. I took over as being the mother” She shrugged and looked down. “I will understand if you hate me you wouldn’t be the first one”

She roughly pulled the sleve back down ripping the gauze off and ripping some of the scars off. She leaned back in her chair. “I was the one that received the flag at the cermony I told them that our mother was too upset to deal with it, none of my father superiers know that we are alone” She shrugged and then stared into her hands waiting for his response.

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