Re: A lonley Cutter (OPEN FOR ANYONE)

[Guest]

As they got out of the car and Dani Pulled him into a hub and kissed him softly, he returned her kiss. "Sorry about being so quiet. Just worried about being around this place." as she took his hand and kissed it, his hand shook some. The place was huge, three stories and it covered an entire city block in length and another in depth. Once they reached the doors he was all about turning around and running for the car. If it had not been for Dani there with him, holding his hand, he might have done just that.

Once the door opened and they entered he felt more unease. He licked his lips and his eyes darted around the lobby. Here he saw men in wheel chairs, walking around on crutches and others helping the others. Some were misssing limbs, others were scared from severe wounds. He began to feel anxiety building up inside him as they walked on towards the information counter. They never reached it. His mind took him back to Iraq and again he was in the middle of a battle, but none that he had been in. There were wounded every where, screaming in pain and insurgents all around coming for them.

In the Lobby he pulled from Dani's hand and took up a defensive stance. His right hand seemed to clench something and his left hand was opened and slightly before him. He looked wildly about him, a snarl on his face. His breathing was more rapid and he was sweating. In his mind he began slashing and grabing the insurgents as they came at him. In his hand he had his bayonet which he stabed and slashed them. He began yelling out taunts and curses at them, and these filled the lobby as many of the vets there turned and watched. Many moved away knowing full well that Alex could be dangerous in this state.

Orderly's came running as one of the volunteers at the info desk called for help. They tried to grab hold of Alex but his training had him grab one and kick his feet from him and he threw him to the ground, as he turned and slashed at the other one with his imaginary bayonet. More surrounded him but stayed back looking for an opportunity to grab him. Dr Parks his head shrink came running into the room, having been informed that a man was having a flashback. He saw Dani and moved towards her, at the same time telling the orderly's to back off.

Dr Parks moved to Dani's side. "You have calmed him before. Talk to him, call out his name and tell him everything is alright. Then slowly approach him, and keep talking to him." He gave her a gentle nudge, "Your voice will get through to him."

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani knew that he was nervous about going in with her, and he still thought that it was only for that he had no idea about the meeting she had planned for him, and he had confrimed it, but she had figured that with her with him it would have been easier. That he wouldn’t have a flash back since she was there, she had also hoped that she would have been able to miss most of the other injured men and women, but once her eyes adjusted to the darkenss of the room she could see that her ideas were false. The wounded were everywhere, some in wheel chairs, others missing limbs, some horrible burned. Dani imeditatly begain to panic. She looked around making note of the front desk and the other people milling around. She didn’t now if she could handle him alone if he flashed back, this would be different then a nightmare. She needed to know who would be able to help and who it would hurt. She was beginning to regrate this, she looked at Alex, his eyes were darting around but he looked alright so she decided to go through with this. Maybe she was wrong maybe he wouldn’t have a flash back.

Dani started to try and get him to walk towards the front desk to check in, but she felt Alex’s hand slip out of her own, she turned around and gasped at his stance, she took a couple steps backwords she had never seen him this bad she reached out for him but he was too far gone, his snarl on his face was evil.His curses made Dani’s skin crawl, she had never heard him speak like that. He was in pain and Dani caused it, Dani had caused this flash back, the worse one of all the ones that she had seen. Dani also noticed the other Veterns were backing away. She could tell that Alex was too far gone to realize what he was doing. He seemed to be holding somethin in his had slashing at invisable people.

As the orderys came in Dani tried to get them to stop, but they were the professionals surely they knew what to do with a stituation like this. But Alex knocked the one off his feet and seemed to be slashing the other one. She wanted to call out to him to bring him back, but the other orderlys blocked her way she stood on her tippytoes trying to see around but they blocked her way, she didn’t think that was a good idea, that would make him feel more boxed in.

When she saw his doctor she chewed her bottom lip. As he ordered the orderlys to back down Dani thanked him then nodded to his instructions. “I am so sorry, I thought seeing others like him, you know the only slightly wounded support meeting that it would help him” Dani shook her head. “I am such a fool I should have known, my father couldn’t handle this place either” Dani knew that she was Alex’s best bet to break out of this. She nodded again to the doctors. “He might have to stay here after”

Dani pushed through the orderlies and slowly steeped up to Alex, ordering him down wouldn’t work this time she knew so she simply stood in the front of him and spoke quietly. “Alex my love its me, your girlfriend” She paused. “I know your scared and its okay, you did it my love, you saved us from them” She wanted to be as vague as possble for he had not screamed out was happening to him. She kept talking softly. Reminding him of out much she loved him and how much he meant to her. “Alex” She spoke really softly as she walked towards him and touched the hand that held what ever he had been slashing with and pretended to remove it then still saying his name nice and calming and telling him that it was over. she gently stroked his face and pulled him into a hug and nuzzled his neck and softly whispered. “I love you Alex, come back to me, Im soo sorry, you can hate me just come back please” She continued to hold him ignoring the gasps behind them. She just wanted her dear Alex back. She was going to see about him staying over night though to make sure he was going to be okay, she doubted he would go for that though but there would be time for that, right now she was just wanted Alex to come back to her.

[Guest]

In Alex's mind he was back in Iraq going hand to hand with the enemy. As any of the orderlies came near he used his training to take them down and then in his mind kill them with his bayonet. "I won't leave you. I am here now." he called out. In his mind it was his old squad laying on the ground, wounded. Everything felt so real to him.

Then he heard Dani's voice. Her soft and loving voice. He looked around in his dream world trying to find her. Then he felt her arms around him and her soft body against him. Suddenly he was back in the real world. His heart was racing, he was breathing hard and sweating. He blinked his eyes as his arms slowly went around Dani and held her to him. He looked around and saw all the orderlies and everyone standing away from him.

Dr. Parks walked forward and looked at Alex. "Dr. Parks?" he swallowed hard, "What happened? What are you doing here?"

"Here working on a couple cases." He rubbed his jaw, "I have a feeling I know why you have had all these nightmares and flashbacks. Come with me, everything will be alright. He gently guided Alex and Dani towards a hallway. he looked at the orderlies and others in the lobby. "Everything is under control, return to your duties and what you were doing." He came to an empty office and he ushered the two into it and closed the door. "Sit down, both of you." he indicated a couch.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani continued to hold Alex, she continued to whisper to him she softly kissed his neck continuly telling him that he was safe and that it was over. She rememebered what he had screamed and held him closer to her hoping that her purfume or her shampoo or something and help him come back to her. She was beginning to wonder if he would ever come back, she had heard of others that got locked in nightmares, forced to relive it over and over again. Would this happen to Alex?

She was getting more and more nervous she would stay with him no matter what, weather or not he ever came out of this nightmare but she would feel forever guilty she would never be able to fogive herself and would more then likely revert to cutting again. but then slowly she felt his arms around her and she sighed and smiled kissing his neck again, “Ohhh Alex how I love you” She softly kissed his lips again and stroked his face of the sweat and smiled at him attempting to calm him down. “I do love you Alex”

When the doctor came forward she stood infront of Alex as attempting to protect him. But as she listened to the doctor she turned and looked at Alex. It was worth a shot, to find out why the doc thought he was having the dreams. As he led her she didn’t let go of Alex’s hand, she didn’t look at the orderies as they walked but nodded to any vets that they passed. They deserved respect.

When they got into the office she sat with Alex and grasped his hands and kissed his cheek. “I will be right here Alex” She didn’t look the doctor in the eye though, she had let it slip that her father had hated this place so now he knew that she was a Military Brat as well and she didn’t want the focus to be on her Alex needed it right now she wanted to see why Alex was having the dreams, and purhapes get him to sleep one night here To make sure he was okay after that manic epiosde. She kissed Alex’s hand and waited for the doctor to speak. Still advioding eye contact.

[Guest]

Alex was still a bit dazed and confused, as Parks lead him and Dani to an office. He sat down on the couch with Dani and looked up at Dr. Parks. He was still shaking a bit, still not at ease about being at the VA Center. His breathing and heart had slowed, the images of the flashback or what ever it was still vivid in his mind. Dr. Parks sat down in the chair behind the desk and leaned forward putting his elbows on the desk. "You were sent home early due to them finding out you had enlisted and not completed high school. Is that right?" he began.

Alex nodded, "Yeah, they said it nullified the enlistment contract."

"You didn't like that did you? Felt that you were deserting your friends and fellow soldiers?" he asked.

"Well yeah." Alex said looking down. "We were close and well when you watched each others back for so long and all, there was a certain bond between all of us." he shuffled his feet a bit "I guess you could say I felt like I was deserting them and letting them down." he squeezed Dani's hand

"You wish you were still there with them don't you? Wish you were still in the army?" Dr. Parks asked.

Alex took a moment before answering. He gave Dani a quick look. He knew that it would not be good for her if he went back into the army. But he did wish he was still in the army and with his squad and company. "Yeah." was all he said.

"Well it is simple Alex. You are feeling guilty about it all and your desire to be back with your friends and comrades, is playing hell with your mind. I know you probably don't like being here at this Center, but there is a group that meets here and talks about things. I think it will help you. Dani here has done a wonderful job helping you, but you must finish the job yourself. Talking about it with others will help."

Before Alex could complain or make an excuse, Dr. Parks stood up and walked over to him and stood before him. "I don't think you will have another episode like today when you come back. I"ll set it up for you, and Dani here can come with you if you like.

Alex swallowed hard and looked at Dani and then at Dr Parks. He nodded, "Ok, if you think it will help."

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani could tell that Alex was nervous since he was still shaking horribly and was she was concered. How could she tell him that she had lied to him that her whole plan was to get him for a meeting. She knew he would hate her and would probably be in worse shape then he was right now. And she knew that eventually she would have to tell him But she would cross that bridge when she came to it, purhapes the doctor would make it his idea. For now she simple chewed her bottom lip and continued to hold on to his hand for now she just wanted to be there for Alex. As the doctor leaned forward she gratefully realized that the doctor wasn’t going to talk about her, but keep the focus on Alex she was gratful for that. Maybe, hopfully he had missed her stupid coment about her dad.

As the conversation continued Dani glanced at Alex out of the corner of her eye and softly stroked his hand and brought it to her lips again softly kissing it then looked up at the doctor as he and Alex spoke. She could tell it was hard for Alex so she kept silent and continued to hold on to his hand, being there for him allowing him to talk about this. She chewed her bottom lip more as it got deeper. It was getting harder for him. She knew that he had felt guilty but she hadnt really heard all of it before. She knew that he had been sent home early and that he had felt guilty but she didn’t realy know how deep it went.

When the doctor asked him about going back and Alex looked at Dani she slightly nodded to let him know that she would support him no matter what choice he made. But when he finally spoke the words she felt her heart break she tried her best not to let it show though, Alex needed her supp and although she knew for sure now that he would be going back, she had known all along really that he would be going back just hearing him telling someone that could make it so made it even more real. But she would be strong for him just like she was strong when her dad left, and had been strong for her brother and her mother. She had been strong for so long she knew no other way.

Now the doctors voice seemed far away, she would have to wave goodbye to another bus and worry every day and evernight, every time the phone rang her heat would stop, and she would dread every knock on the door. But she of course would not Alex know of her fear, she had let her father know her fears and he had died, in her mind it was her fault that her father had died, on the last phone call she had expressed her worry and they next phone call she had recived was the one informing her of his death. She would not let that happen again.

Dani heard him talking about a metting she shook her head and swallowed and she came back to listening contently, she was very greatful that he brought it up it meant that she would not have to take the blame therefore he wouldn’t hate her, or so she hoped, he could still hate her for making him come to the VA. When the doctor came and stood near him Dani nodded. “I will come Alex of course if you want me to” She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

She then stood and nodded to Alex “I will be right back love I just want to talk to the Doctor about volentering here” She stood and starte to walk near the door out of ear shot. “I can understand that if there are no spots for me to help out here after the commontion I caused earilier but I am still really intereested honestly” She trailed off then whispered. “but do you think that Alex should spend the night here?” She paused. “I know he isnt going to like it, but look at him he is stil really pale and jumpy and I am worried abou taking him home” She hoped that he would leave it there and that he had forgotten about her coment about her father, she had not gone to anyone after her father died and wasn’t about to go to someone know, Alex needed the help not her.

She looked over at Alex then to the doctor again, “ By the way thank you for mentioning the metting, that was my real reason for coming here, and I knew he would have hated me, I wasn excepting that major break though” She paused and then asked him “So what do you think Doc should he stay here or do you think he will be okay?” She shifted from foot to foot shewanted to get back to Alex he looked so small there and was still pale her heart just ached. “He still doesn’t look right, I doubt he could stand right now” She then looked back up at the doctor and waited for his anserw chewing her bottom lip again.

[Guest]

Dr. Parks listened to Dani as she talked to him at the door. "He'll be fine. I don't think he needs to stay over night. He will calm down and I think he will not be as nervous about coming back." He smiled when she told him what she had done. "It was a good thing that you were trying to do. The group I am going to put him into will help him talk about things and he will find out that he is not alone. Some of the vets, wish they could still be there with their friends. But they have been medically discharged. Talking helps."

He looked back over at Alex and then back at Dani. "So your father could not stand coming here either? Well he would have been proud of you for what you have done for Alex here and been trying to do for him. You seem to have a knack for helping people. So if you are intrested in working here, I think i can talk to the right people to have that done."

He opened the door and then said, "Stay here with him for a bit and then try to get him home. I'll give a call there about the job and when the group session is." He was about to go and then said, "I know you probably don't like the idea that he wishes he was still in the army, and that he would not mind going back in. But it might be what he really needs. Support him." Then he was gone.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani looked over at Alex, she didn’t fully agree with him, Alex didn’t look strong enough to stand never mind go home but she sighed. the doctor was the professional so she nodded and licked her lips. “Okay Dr. Parks if you think it is safe” She didn’t know though, it would be hard to get Alex to come back, he had seen the very injured and he would know that coming back he would be forced to see them again how could she except him to come back? But the meeting sounded good and he had seemed willing to go, she just hoped that he would continue to be willing to go. “The meeting sounds just like what Alex needs”

Her jaw tensed as he mentioned her dad, so he hadnt missed it, of course he wouldn’t it was his job to pick up on subtle things. She knew that if she cried this would be a time that she would but she simply had forgotten how to cry s she instead stared blank faced up at him. Until the topic chanced then she nodded, “I would like that, even if its just to play games with them , or listen, or what I did today” She shrugged. “Anything really, I just want to help…I wasn’t able” she cut herself off licked her lips and nodded. “Anything”

As he opened the door Dani smiled and nodded. “Of course thank you I will wait for that phone call.” She turned her attention to Alex as he continued to speak she turned around to tell him that of course that she would support him no matter what and that he would never know her fear about it but he was gone before she could say so. She watched him leave then closed the door and closed her eyes then turned around.

Turning to Alex she slowly walked over to him and knelt down at his feet kneeling between his legs she looked up at him and softly stroked his face, her eyes full of love, she had even mastered masking her eyes, she would not show him that she was scared. “Alex?” she softly asked. She swallowed and licked her lips. “Alex I love you” she then leaned him to him and hugged him fully and just held on to him, if he was angry at her she would be able to tell because he wouldn’t hug him back. “And you know that no matter what you choose I will always love you, I will never stop loving you and I will always support you please belive me Alex”

[Guest]

Alex was still a bit dazed but he heard and felt Dani. He felt her kneel down and caress her face and then hug him. He slipped his arms about her and hugged her back. "Thanks for being here Dani." he held ehr tightly. "I don't know what I would have done if you had not been here." he whispered. He heard her tell him that she would support him no matter what he chose. He didn't want to put her through hell by joining back up with the army, but it seemed that it was what he was destined for.

He knew what his mother went through. The worry each time the phone rang or a car pulled up outside. It was not easy on anyone waiting for their loved one that was off at war. It was not just women but the husbands and boyfriends of the women that served as well. He wondered if she could stand him going back over and being in the middle of it all.

He lifted her head up to look at him. "I don't want to hurt you, or make you worry. What do you think I should do?" he need to know what she thought and felt.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani closed her eyes and sighed as she felt his arms around her it felt so good to have his arms on her holding her, allowing her to be strong, hold him up he had put her arms around her and to her that meant that he still loved her, even if she had caused him to have a breakdown but then again he hadnt really figured that part out yet. He still thought the only reason that they were there was because she had wanted to volenteer sure it was a part of it, but she had really wanted him to come, to see about that meeting, and now she would have to bring him again she didn’t know if she would be strong enough to see him go through that again, it had tore at her inner most being. But she of course would never let Alex know she couldn’t, she had to be strong for him. Just like she had been strong for her father, until she had screwed that up, she was strong for her brother and now she would be strong for Alex.

She tightened her grip on him as he spoke. She didn’t feel like she desereved to be thanked, she was the reason he was in this mess but she nodded and softly spoke. “Alex I told you that I will always be here for you, no matter what” She burried her face into his neck as he told her that he didn’t know what he would do without her. She leaned closed to his ear still not raising her head. “You will never have to know what you would do without me my love I will always be here for you, I will be your strength Alex” She softly kissed ear and closed her eyes again.

As he lifted her chin she felt her heart ach again. She swallowed hard and tried her hardest to look into his eyes, his loving, caring gentle eyes. As he asked her she clenched her jaw and readieed herself she knew her voice would have to be steady and strong if he was to belive her. She slowly stood and sat down beside him crossing her legs and taking both his hands into her own and brought them to her lips then to her cheek. “Alex, I love you” She paused again then lookd him in the eye and very strongly and steady voice spoke. “I know you that you don’t want to hurt me, I know that and I love you for that” She nodded. “I meant it, I will be here for you.” She closed her eyes breifly then opened them leaned forward and kissed him on the lips then rested her forhead on his. “I think you should re-enlist” She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly to her.

She then pulled away and grinned. “Its what you were ment to do Alex” She stroked his face, “I have known all along, and Ithink you have to” She nodded. “Don’t worry about me though, I will be okay, I do wish for you to brush up on your training though” She nodded. “And you will be envived, for I will send you a care package every week” She then pulled him close to her again and simply held him. “Your Doc said that we can stay here until you are ready, there is no rush” If she did fear him going she dropped no hints of that, she was strong voiced and strong looking, not even a flinch or twitch was visable, but her mind was racing, how could se let him go? Would he die like her father? She wouldn’t let that happen though and for now she wouldn’t let herself dwell on it, she had to focus on Alex and make him healthy for redeployment.

[Guest]

With Dani there he began to feel a bit better. His breathing and heart had calmed. He was still a bit nervous about being there but with her at his side it was so bad. He held her tightly and kissed her gently. She would not mind him returning to the army, but he had a feeling that deep down she still feared it. "I think we have spent enough time here." he told her.
He stood up and helped Dani to her feet. He took a deep breath and then reached for the door. Letting out his breath he opened the door and with an arm about Dani he stepped out of the office.

He saw some of the vets and held on to Dani a bit tighter. The walk out of the VA Center was not to bad. He felt a bit twitchy but it was nothing that he could not handle. Once out side he felt better and was able to breath normally. It was going to take quite a bit of will power to return for the sessions the doctor wanted. Knowing Dani would be there with him, would help. But he still could not wait to leave the place and be as far away from the center as possible.

He breathed even easier as he got into the car. When they were finally away from the center he felt more relaxed and more himself. He looked over at Dani and smiled. He placed a hand on one of hers and squeezed it. "It is not going to be easy." he told her. "But I think with you with me, I'll make it though it."

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani noticed that his breathing was getting better and she smiled softly. Keeping him in her arms tightly as if she could take away all his fear and pain simply by hugging her, and she would if there was a way that she could take all the pain and anguish from him she would in a heart beat even if it meant that she would have to take all of it, not that he would ever let her though. But she cared so deeply for him, and it hurt her so much to see him hurt. She returned the kiss softly closing her eyes “Mmmm” She smiled.

As he decided that he had spent enough time she noddded. “If you are ready my love” She stood and smiled a thank you at him for helping her. She searched his face, could he tell that she was scared about the thought of him reenlisting but like she had said, she had always known that he could eninlest, as her father said “Once a Soldier always a Soldier” So it wasn’t really any of a shock. She walked with him keeping an eye on him more then anything else she was still really concered about him, she smiled encouraging. “I am here Alex” She hispered as they stepped out of the office.

She notcied the vets and felt him tighten his grip, “its okay Alex we are almost there just stay with me.” She whispered to him, trying to to alarm anyone else, she knew that if she got him out of here they would be in the clear….for now. She smiled as the made it outside. “See Alex we made it, we are outside you did so good my love” She knew that getting him back here would be near impossible but she would cross that bridge when she got to it.

When they got to the car she rested her hand on his thigh and smiled at him. “You are doing much better” She nodded. Then took his hand and squeezed his as he squuezed hers. She nodded. “Of course I will come with you Alex” She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it softly then leaned back in case he needed both hands to drive. “So where would you like to go?” She was thinking they could go some where and they could just hold eachother or something like that. But it was Alex that just had a rough time and it would be up to him to chose what they could do what he could handle, ifthey went home she would just take Skye for a walk.

[Guest]

Alex began his weekly sessions with the VA center. He met with soldiers that had flashbacks and nightmares. They talked about it and began coming to terms with why they were having them. At first it was hard. The fear, shakes and nervousness. But after the first session, it began to lessen and with Dani going with him made it easier. With out her there he probably would never have gone in the first place. The weeks passed and finally it was the week before christmass break. It was his last session. He went in and talked while Dani went to help out with other vets.

When he was done with his session he emerged and ran into Dr Parks and Dustin. In his hand was a medical form. From what Alex could see it cleared him for enlisting in the army. "Dustin? You are going through with this?" he asked him. "You know what this will do to Dani?"

[Xuxa_Rene]

The next few days flew by and before she knew it Alex and her were heading to the VA office for his first meeting. She walked in with him holding his hand and giving it a sqeeze she took it slow allowing him to set the pace not wanting to rush him they signed in and then she went with him to the metting, she held his hand as the metting went on and returned with him the next few ones, but one day at the encouragment of the group leader she kissed him goodbye at the door reminding him that she would be in the building then watched him walk in and sit down. She smiled to herself, he was doing so good and she was so proud of him.

She then turned around and walked to the head office and was directed to the day room. She was suppose to walk around and let the Veterns decide to start up a conversaion. One noticed the dog tags and nodded to her Dani sat down and introduced herself. She spoke to the man answering the question about her father and then Alex, and after hearing that she was a “military brat” and he was dating a young vertern more of them opened up to her. They found it easy to talk to her for she was able relate a litle more the the other volenteers that came there sometimes and only wanted to hear about bloody battle, Dani knew and understood that most service members just waned to forget wht they had gone through and what they saw and what they were forced to do.

Dani never brought up any of those things. She for the most part she just listened to them, sometime she didn’t speak at all, and they seemed grateful for that sometimes it seemed they just wanted to be heard and the nurses were busy with the medical treatments, so Dani did what ever she could, sometimes played a card game and other times she pushed them around in their wheelchairs around the outside areas, and sometimes she helped in the rehab room and gave them encouragment to get through the painful theapy. To hold their hand it seemed to help them that there was someone else there. She read letters and stories to the ones blinded, and even a few times had to help a soldier breakout of a nightmare.

It seemed that every week that she came that the nurses could barely wait for her to drop Alex off before ushering her into a room with a vertern that was having problems, where doctors couldn’t get some out of their bed Dani seemed to be able to do it with in minutes. The vertens seemed to lighten up when she entered the room, and Dani was enjoying her time there, she was grateful that Alex was doing so well. Sometimes she even let the fact that he would be redeploying soon out of her mind.

When she was home she worked on her homework and made sure that she chipped in at home. She had noticed that she was seeing less and less of her brother, she just assumed that he was busy with Debbie, she had noticed that he had picked up his grades so she had stopped checking his homework, the school found out about her mother so she was no longer checking his agenda either had she been doing either she would have found out that he had taken on extra classes and would be able to graduate end of the term. He wasn’t sure how he would have handled it if he had been found out. He knew it would have hurt Dani, but he felt called to do this, to finish what their father couldn’t.

Before any of them knew it, it was nearly Christmas break, Dani had gone with Alex to one of his last mettings and she was helping decorate the day room into more festive, the nurses and the veterns had grown acustomed to her being there, so Dani had to promise that she would continue coming they all clapped when she made that annocement and Dani blushed and went back to work.

Meanwhile Dustin was in the offfice of the shrink, have been physcally cleared for bootcamp he was now trying to pass the mental exam, he had stopped taking hi pills shortly after meeting Debbie. After talking to him the doctor cleared him. He made a note of the last name though, he was certain that he shared a name with a volenter here, the same girl that had a boyfriend preparing to deploy and if he was right the girl would be needing someone to talk to soon as well. Dustin stood and took the forms and shook his hand “Thank you” he then stepped out of the office, never dreaming that Dani or Alex would be here, He was sure that Alex would be like his father and not be able to handle coming here and Dani would be whereever Alex was. So when the doctor led them out and they bumped into Alex Dustin was shocked to say the least. Dustin saw Alex looking at the paper and swallowed hard then he looked up at him nodded “Yes I know what it will do to her, that’s why I am not going to tell her, yet and I will ask you not to as well I am doing this and there is no talking me out of it.” He nodded to the doctor then pushed passed Alex bumping into him and running out the door before he could be spotted by his sister. He got into his car and filled the papers into his glove box beat his hand against the steering wheel and screamed. He had planned to let no one know until he left for bootcamp, no time to try and talk him out of it. Other then Debbie of course, she supported him, but she also didn’t understand all the risks like they did. He put the car in to reverse and drove off.

Dani was nonethe wiser that her brother was even in the building. She was helping a vertern that was having a difficult time doing phyiscal thearpy, the thearpist had nearly given up on him but Dani was too stubbrone she had walked into his room and within the hour she had him up and on his cane she had taken on most of his weight but he was walking slowly her back was to the entereance and her full attenition as on the man. “That’s it Andrew you can do it” She encouraged him

The nurses smiled shook their head one walked up to Alex reconzing him as the one that always came with her. “You have a special girl there, PVT Hebden has not left his bed, the nurses couldn’t convince him, his therpists have all but given up, Danelle goes in there and less then a hour later she has him out of bed and walking” She smiled and classped her hand on his shoulder, “We all love her here, and I hope you can let it be that she continues coming even after you are done wth us” With that she walked away. And Dani continued to work with Andrew taking it slow. She made him walk to the thearpists who stared at her gaped mouth. Dani simply smiled and moved to another vetern, she was encouraging and so stubbrone that the men knew that she would never give up on them so they were better off to just do what she asked.

[Guest]

Dustin didn't want him to tell Dani about what he was planning on doing. He did not look to happy that Alex had found out what was going on. Dustin left in a hurry, not wanting it seemed to talk to Alex about it. Alex knew that Dani had enough on her plate as it was. Dealing with her father's death and helping Alex through his troubled times and him possibly rejoining the army. Adding something like her brother joining the army was not going to be very good.

He watched Dustin leave and then turned to the Doctor. "So he is good to go. He doesn't need to take his meds any more?"


"He, like you I think has found someone that has been doing wonders for him. He has not shown any signs of problems that would prevent him from joining the army. I hear you might be going back in yourself." he raised a brow at that. Alex shugged his shoulders and looked guilty as hell on that one. The Doc shook his head and said, "Come on I think Dani is helping a new patient."

He followed the Doc to one of the rehab rooms and he saw Dani with one of the Vets that had been badly wounded. She had him up and walking a bit. One of them explained the situation and there was admiration in the nurses voice. It seemed that they all loved Dani. She had taken the vets into her heart and had helped them, talked to them and listened to them. He smiled and knew that Dani had a place to work any time she wanted. She was making a name for her self there.

He waited till she was done with the patient she was presently helping before opening the door and entering. "Are you ready to go miss nightengale." he smiled and nodded to the vets.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dustin tore out of parking lot and down the street. He had to do this, how could Alex not understand this? He turned on the radio and blasted some music he wasn’t sure where he was going till he pulled up to the hiking trails about a mile from their school he put is card in park and jumped out. He needed to clear his head. These were the trails that their father took them on, they used to have races on who could make it up the top of the path. It was a steep path and the creaters of it added step cut into the mountain Dustin ran up the path ignoring the looks from the other passerbyers. He got to the top out of breath, that he would have to change he had to get fit he would train here every day if he had to. He turned around and walked off the trail to a secluded spot he looked around and then he finally saw what he was looking for. His eyes settled on a large tree near a clearing he walked to it and put his hand on it. Before their father deployed for the last time they had all hiked up here and had craved their intials into the tree, but someone had come back and craved their fathers death date into the tree he closed his eyes as he ran his fingers over it softly. He had not done it he suddenly remembered that she had kept asking him to come with her to do it but he kept pushing it off, then she had dropped it, Dustin thought she was just done with it but it was clear now Dani knew it would have been to hard for him, so like everything else Dani had been the strong one, “ Ohh Dani” he softly whispered to himself. He backed away slowly. She had been there for him this passed year, he had never seen her take time for herself, she was back at school before he had been, he was the older brother and he was suppose to be the strong one he sighed, most of his anger of being found out had evaporated. He ran down the stairs then jumped back into his car and drove to Debbie’s.

He knew that him joining the Army was bascally the only career open to him, he had no skills, and the unemplyment in their city was so high, he planeed to marry Debbie but he had to prove to her father that he could support her. He was a stickler and Dustin honestly thought this was the only way. He would explain to Alex later. And Dani well, she was strong she could do it. She had to see that this was his only option, yes she would see his point.

Debbie greated him and he smiled to her. “I got my clearance, I will go to the requriment office this weekend” Debbie looked at him and Dustin shook his head, “I cant do it before, Alex saw me there, I have to make sure that he can keep my sister away when I go in, she cant find out, not yet” Debbie nodded. “Alright Dustin” He cupped her hand and smiled. He was still uncertain that Debbie knew what she was getting into, being in love with a Soldier was hard. But he also knew that Dani would be there, Dani was a rock Debbie looked up at him “Just explain that you are doing what your father couldn’t finish she has to understand” Dustin numbly nodded and walked up to her room.

Dani grinned as Alex entered and walked up to him wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him slightly. She blushed and giggled as the room erupted in “ohhs” and “Ahhs” Dani turned around and introduced him to the room “Guys this is Alex, my boyfriend” She kissed his cheek again then tapped his shoulder gently. “I am nearly done here Alex” She stopped by each and every vertern that was in the room making sure each were comfortable and added a blanket or helped one to bed, she had to promise over and over again that she would be returning, she hadnt talked it over with Alex but he wouldn’t stop her she was sure of it. Finally she had said farewell to everyone including the nurses. And she went to sign out, where she had to promise again that she would be back.

Meanwhile a young vetern just a little older then Alex pulled on his selve he was missing leg below the knee and had serious burns on his face. “You have a special girl there Sir, when she looks at us, she doesn’t see third degree burns, missing limbs, she sees pass that” He paused and shook his head “When I got to germany my girl was there” He paused “She took one look at me screamed and ran away from me, I havent seen her since” He looked over to where Dani was kneeling down to say goodbye to a wheelchair bounded Vet. “I was about to give up when she came in here” He looked up at him . “I know that look in your eyes, you are itching to get back out there, but you better make sure that she knows how much you love her, for she loves you” He nodded. “I also see the look in her eyes, she is hurting, she has told him about her dad but I don’t think she has allowed herself to mourn, for everytime we bring it up she quickly changes the subject back to us, she is very good at that, as you probably know” He paused again as she walked passed “Promise me that you will be there to hold her when the dam finally breaks?”

Dani finished signing out and walked back to Alex. “Ahh Alex you have met Peter” Dani smiled and knelt down gave Peter a gentle hug then nodded to Alex. “I will be outside if you two need to finish something. With that Dani walked outside and sat on the bench waiting for Alex to come out.

[Guest]

The way these vets had taken to Dani made him proud of her. She was helping them through troubled and painful times and they were loving the attention and her personallity. When the one Vet called him sir, he shook his head and put an arm on the man's shoulder. "You don't have to call me Sir. I was enlisted just like you." he smiled. When he told him about being there for her especially when the dam broke. He knew exatly what the man was talking about.

She had been cutting herself when they had first met, blaming her self for something, and not letting her emotions out about her father's death. He had figured out that it all had to do with her dad's death overseas and she had been holding back from expressing her grief. He had helped her open up some and she had not cut herself in a very long time. "I will always be there for her." he told the vet.

When Dani approached and said she would be outside as he was talking to Peter, he smiled and nodded. He finished his talk with Peter and then joined Dani. "I think that you have a permanet job her my love." It was not vouleenter work but an actual job, now. Shortly after her starting her voulenteer work, Dr Parks, made it a Part time job for her and when she finished school he was planning on making it a full time one. She just had a way about her that got through to the men and women there. Dr. Parks had saw that and had convinced the head of the center to create the job and he was not disappointed in what he saw.

Christmas came fast after his last session. It was Dani, Dustin, Alex, and Debbie around the tree with Alex's mother. They opened pressents and had a good time laughing and enjoying each other's company. Then Alex pulled out a small velvet coverd box from his pocket and went to one knee before Dani and opened it so she could see the contents. Inside was a ring with a single diamond. "Will you marry me my love." he asked her.

His mother smiled, as tears began trickling down her cheek. Debbie's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. Dustin looked a bit shocked but had a slight smile on his face. Alex waited to see what Dani would say and do, his heart beating fast.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Peter simply nodded “Force of habit you know. What gets drilled in us is sometimes hard to forget. ” He grinned as he told him that he would be there for Dani. He clasped his hand. And nodded. “Now go out there and be with your girl, or you might have some competiion” He teased then Peter wheeled himself away, something that Dani had taught him to do, to regain the use of his hands to be able to push himself around.

Dani greeted Alex when he came out by wrapping her arms around his neck. “So what did Peter say to you?” She kissed his neck softly then put her feet back on the ground. “Well I am enjoying working here” She turned and looked at the doors then walked with Alex to his car. She smiled at Alex and leaned over and kissed him again. “I really do love you Alex, and I know you talked to Peter, so I want you to know something” She paused and stared into his eyes. “That will never happen to you, I promise you that I will never leave you” She smiled then squeezed his hand.

She couldn’t belive how quickly Christmas came, with her money at working she gave Alex’s mother a day at the spa, the whole expericance, faciels, pedicure manicure, massages, and what ever she wanted, plus extra times for her to go back. To her brother and Debbie she gave condums as a mock gift, but also some books for Debbie and gift certificate for her brother, for her dog skye some pig ears and a new brush, and for Comet her cat, some treats and a lazer pointer which would be much fun when it was dark and they could play with it. Skye was already chewing on her pigs ears and Comet was playing in the wrappings.

Alex had been the most trouble and she thus far only had words to give him, and support and she hated herself for not having an idea of something that she could physically give him. She did wrap a picture that she had taken of them, it was in a nice frame it wasn’t much but she had to have something under the tree for him, it was her first Christmas since her father had died, and she wanted to prove to everyone that she was okay. And she was for the most part, Debbie and Dustin had blushed when they opened the condums, his mother gasped at the Spa gift certificats from them all. She wasn’t too sure about Alex’s reaction but she promised herself that she would take him shopping. They all laughed and although Dani kept playing with the dogtags around her neck she was clearly enjoying herself as well.

As Alex came towards her then pulled out the velvet box Dani began to shake her head, as he then knelt down and opened it her hand flew to her mouth, she gasped and as he asked the question she nodded and let out a squeel and threw herself at him and whispered “Yes oh yes I will Alex” She was shaking as if she was crying but still no tears fell, the happiest moment in her life and she still could not cry.

She whispered in his ear “I love you Alex Morgan thank you” She kissed his ear very softly. She stood up and pulled him out into the balcony so he could put the ring on she kissed him on he lips then sighed. “I am so happy but feel bad that I didn’t get you anything else but that picture, you want anything my love, she strocked his face, my fiance needs something for Christmas” She giggled. “Fiance I like that”

[Guest]

Alex enveloped Dani in his arms and held her tightly. The look on her face and her reaction had made his day. The reactions of the others were priceless as well. He knew they had no idea of what he was going to do on christmas day. When she rose and pulled him out onto the porch, the snow was still falling, coating everything in white. He held her tight to him, kissing her neck. When asked what he wanted, he told her "I have everything I want right here in my arms."

He then took her left hand and slipped the ring on to her finger. Bringing her hand up to his lips he kissed it. He could hardly wait till they went back to school and everyone saw the ring. It would be a day to remember that was for sure. "We had best get back inside where it is warm." he kissed her deeply and then ushered her back in to the house where Debbie grabbed hold of her and drug her over to a corner so she could get a look at the ring. She hugged Dani and was bubbling over with joy for her. Alex's mother hugged him.

"Now that is the best christmas gift that you could have ever given her." she said warmly. "Have you a date in mind?" she asked. Alex had never really thought of the when. That was something he knew Dani and him would have to discuss and agree on. "That is something Dani and I have to talk about." he chuckled. "But it probably would be best if it was after the end of the school year."

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani didn’t mind the snow she just wanted a moment alone with Alex, she doubted that once they were back in the house that she would get time alone with him for a bit, Debbie and his mom would want to see the ring and start making plans, and her brother would want to talk to Alex. But she just wanted a minute just him and her and with the snow falling around them it made it even more romantic. She giggled as he kissed her neck but as he made his coment about her being the only thing he wanted she shook her head he needed something else and if he wasn’t going to tell her she would just ask his mother. She snuggled into his neck and kissed it and his collor bone.

As he placed the ring on her finger she squeeled again and as he kissed her hand she was grinning from ear to ear. She was getting covered in snow but she didn’t mind, he was engaged to a wonderful man and she would be going back to school with an engagment ring on her hand. She would be the only one, she grinned at that. They would have a lot of questions to answer but she didn’t care she was in love, and now she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her.

She nodded when he recommended that they go back in, she was getting cold and getting sick was not an option now, there was so much to do, if he was going to redeploy he might want to get married before he left. She didn’t see the need, but the army might, that was something else that would have to be discussed, along with what kind of marriage, she kinda wanted to be married by the army, since she didn’t really attend church, and the army was such a big part of both of their lives. But all in good time they would make those choices.

As they made it back into the house and she was pounced on by Debbie she grined and let Debbie look at the ring, they ooeed and awed over it as Alex talked to his mother. Debbie begain talking about colours and center pieces Dani snickered “Well lets just hold on, I am just newly engaged we have to take it slow” Debbie nodded and then gasped “I want to plan your bacherlette party and I wont take no for a anserw” Dani smiled broadly. “Well its either you or my brother so yes my vote is for you”

She then walked up to Alex and wrapped her arms around him and showed his mother the ring. “Well I guess I can really start calling you mom now” Dani was glowing it was clear that Dani made her extremly happy, She kissed Alex then turned to his mom and pulled her aside, “Mom, I really feel bad, I only got him a photo of us, I need your idea to get himsomthing, you have to have an idea, me agreeing to marry him isnt enough, its going to be late but everyone needs to open something on Christmas even if it was after the fact. “I want something that he can wear to show my love for him, you know I have a ring that proves he loves me, what can I get him, purhapes a matching band, what do you think….mom?” Dani looked up at her then to Alex then back to Her

[Guest]

She hugged Dani as they talked. "Well that is a possibility. But usually a man does not get something like that untill the wedding bands are chosen. Perhaps a mans bracelet. One that is manly looking. I have seen some men wear them." It was hard buying for her son. He was all grown up and had what ever he really wanted, and that was never that much. She grabbed Debbie and then Dani and drug them into the kitchen to leave Dustin and Alex alone to talk

Alex looked over at Dustin. He made sure that the girls were out of sight before he opened his mouth. "So what about you and Debbie? Are you going to make that big plunge to?" He had a feeling that Dustin was joining the army so he could be able to support him and Debbie. But going off to war like so many of them were it would be hard on her even if they weren't married. Just like it was going to be for Dani. But at least the two girls had his mother, especially Dani. "When are you going to tell Dani?" he pulled Dustin further from the kitchen and whispered. "I doubt that she will try to stop you and she does deserve to know what your plans are."


(Prep for when he goes to his fathers grave and she finds out and all. Perhaps this will be what makes him go there to talk it out with his father.)

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani nodded “I just want something for him to show how much I love him” She played with her ring. “He has made me the happiest girl, I don’t know what I wold have done without him, I just want him to have something that shows everyone that I love him” She looked over at Alex “I think a braclet with maybe my name inscribed in it would be nice.” She smiled again “Thank you” She would go shopping with him later and get him to pick one out. And if he did deploy it would be something for him to hold during those long nights, something to keep him going, to remind him what he was fighting for. Yes a braclet would do just fine.

As she was pulled into the kitchen the girls begain talking about wedding dresses, Dani really wanted a selveless on but was worried about her arms, Debbie and Alex’s mom both said that they would figure out something, either cover them up, or Dani would just wear them proudly since everyone at the wedding would know that she had been a cutter. “What do you think Alex would think about a military wedding?” She asked his mother. “Pictures with me and my dress and him in his dress uniform would be the best thing I can think of” She smiled and waited for a reply while Debbie gushed over the ring.

Dustin watched his sister and Debbie gush over the ring he had been planning on popping the question to Debbie before he started training, then get married before he deployed, but that was coming up too fast, perhapes just pop thequestion then get married infront of a Justice of the peace, then have a true wedding when he came back. Dustin turned to Alex, “I do plan to marry her, probably infront of the J.O.P then when I come back, do a wedding with you all, I don’t want to take from Dani’s day, she would say that she wont mind, but she deserves her special day” Dustin nodded. “Yes I will talk to Debbie about that and do it that way.

When he asked him about telling Dani he shook his head. “And ruin her Christmas? Not going to happen, I will tell her eventually, just not yet, I havent even been accepted yet, no point upsetting her over nothing” He slapped Alex on the back. “All in good time” Then he walked into the kitchen and wrapped his hands around Debbie, “Come my love we promised you parents we would stop by” He turned to Alex’s mom “We wont be gone too long so we can help with dinner” Then they were gone

Dani walked into the living room after eyeing Dustin. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hello Fiance,” She grinned and kissed his lips softly before looking himinto the eyes “What was that all about?” She raised an eyebrow “Or are you two planning your balchor party?” She grinned. “I don’t mind what you do at your party, just no cheating” She winked. “But honestly Alex, what was my brother talking to you about? It looked serious.” She was clearly worried. Dustin had been acting strange around her, avoiding eye contact and staying clear of Alex as well.

[Guest]

Alex nodded at what Dustin said. It was not the right time yet for Dani to know about what he was planning. Even though he, himself was going to be going back in, she did not need to know that her brother was. Not just yet. When Dani came back in and asked him he smiled, "Ahhh just about him and Debbie. He wants to pop the question as well, but not before he can make sure he has a steady income to support her. " He chuckled at the thought of a bachlor party. He was not one for something like that. he didn't drink, and he sure was not wanting to have half naked women running all over the place.

He held her tightly, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. He had heard her talking about a military wedding. That would be something to really plan and figure out. But the when part was something the two of them would have to talk about. He was going in right after graduation. He had to go through a refresher course, sort of a mini Advance Individual Training, to requalify with weapons, and get any updated training that had come about since he had been out. Some time after that would be the best time, hopefully before he would be deployed overseas.

The rest of the day and night was one to remember. Dustin and Debbie returned later for dinner and the five of them enjoyed the night. He was looking forward to sleeping in again the next day, that was unless Dani had other plans.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Dani didn’t belive Alex, something was up, her brother was acting really strange, and she couldn’t put her finger on it but she knew something was up. But she sighed and nodded looking up at Alex, he wouldn’t lie to her he loved her and Dani knew that Alex would never lie. She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him “Merry Christmas fienace” She smiled again and sat down on the couch were comet imeditally jumped on her lap and promptly fell fast asleep. Dani simply cuddled into Alex and relaxed. Her mind drifted to her father, she would have to go to see his grave again at somepoint soon. Tend to it replace the flowers and talk to him again.

She looked up at him. “Alex, I need to find someone to walk me down the Asile can you think of anyone?” She kissed his cheek “Maybe my father’s Sagrent or something , I am sure I can get in contact with them, and he did say if I ever needed anything to give him a call, if he is stateside then I will ask him” She paused and swallowed it was clear that she was struggling with the thought of talking to him again. “Unless you can think of someone, But I honestly want a Military guy to walk me down the asle and give me away”

The rest of the day was relaxing, she helped out with dinner and walked Skye making sure to try and tucker her out which for a bodercollie was hard. But making it home Skye promptly sat down on her bed and began to chew on her pigs ears again. During the meal she laughed along with the others keeping an eye on Dustin, yes he was definely hidding something but what? Purhapes he was just nervous about proposing to Debbie.

After the meal Dani helped clean up then relaxed with Debbie and Alex and her brother. Evenutally Alex drove Debbie home and Dani pulled Alex up and kissed him again. “Lets go to bed, tommrow I have something planned for you” She grinned and once upstairs in their room she changed into some pjs then laid down in bed cuddling with him. In the morning she slowly got out of bed and kissed Alex sofly. “Mmmm wake up my love, I’m taking you to the mall I want to get you a braclet.”

Eventually they got into the car and to the mall she dragged Alex to a store and pointed to the man braclets, pick one my love, then I want to get something craved into it.” She looked up Alex to see his reaction. “I just want you to have a symbol of our love like I do” She grinned and looked at the ring again.

[Guest]

Alex enjoyed sleeping in and just relaxing. But when he awoke Dani drug him out of bed and told him she wanted to take him to the mall and buy him a braclet. He had to smile at that and he got dressed and off they went to the mall and to one of the nicer shops. Here there were a number of mens braclets that looked nice. She told him to choose one and and he moved behind her and placed his arms around her as he looked. He chose a simple one, one that was not to expensive but not cheep either. "I think this one would be nice." he told her and tightened his arms about her and kissed her neck.

Meanwhile Dani's father's squad was departing from Iraq They had just been redeployed from there on a rotation and they had all agreed to go see Dani after they seperated and went home to have their late christmas with their families. They would all meet at Worthington when the holidays were over. They had her father's ring one they had found among some of his things left behind when he was killed and his body shipped home. He had told them that it was something he was wanting to give his daughter and they were determined to see his wish was done.

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