Re: BlackBird Spiral

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin noticed that Felix was very antsy. He didn't seem to be able to focus on him although he was trying. His heart hurt for this man. He loved him, he just couldn't say that, Felix didn't need baggage like him around. He nodded with the thanks for food. "I guess you really don't want even soup" He sighed "I just worry"

When the food came he suddenly lost all his apatite he put his spoon in it and stirred it around with this nose wrinkled. He looked up suddenly when Felix told him about Blaine. "Why, how, tell me you didn't do anything" He had paled in colour. He sighed then shook his head.

He leaned forward to get the story then listened by the end of it he wanted to cry again. "Why Felix, I am not worth you giving up that much, I much rather just have you and deal with the hell" He sighed. He was really against him doing modeling. He smirked when Felix said he didn't want to share. He shook his head and sighed again. "Hmmm I much rather just have you too, but I don't know if the Olympics is going to happen now"

He looked down at his hands "I didn't want to tell you this, my own family doesn't know." He sighed "Many of my team wont even practise with me anymore, they claim to be scared they are going to catch AIDS" He didn't lift his head to him. "I just want you to be safe, and how am I going to do that if I am off in some other country for the Olympics?"

[Ekstaze]

Felix dropped his spoon into the bowl of soup at Justin's response, how many times was he going to have to tell this guy that he meant the world to him. He pushed the bowl away from himself and was about to get to his feet to drag Justin with him when there was movement out of the corner of his eyes. He turned his attention towards the window and saw four guys from the gang hurrying along the street.

This time Felix got to his feet rather quickly and grabbed Justin's hand "It's time to go" he said sharply and threw a few bills down on the table then dragged Justin out of the cafe. "Look I don't know how to get this through your head but you mean the world to me and I mean that. I haven't had anyone special in my life in a long time nor have I been able to feel this way about someone but you are it. I want you and will do anything to make sure you get what you want and if that means making sure everyone on your swim team listens and knocks their shit off then I will find a way to do it" he started to explain to Justin as he dragged him down several streets to get away from the main drag. "If you were to get into the Olympics then I will find a way to be right there with you. I've already screwed up once and I am trying to fix that" he stopped briefly in an alleyway so that they both could catch their breath.

Felix turned to Justin "Since you are willing to go through hell with me then that's what we'll do but it's going to create a lot of crap...not only for us but for everyone else that is connected to you. Do you understand?" He couldn't stress enough that if they did what they wanted that it would be hard, painful and would take a long time before it could be just the two of them however Felix was will to do that for Justin but that was probably because the only thing he had to lose was his own life.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin knew that he had upset Felix but he wondered how he would feel if the roles were reversed if it was Justin selling himself to a gang to protect him. He didn't think Felix would like that any. He was about to tell him that when he seemed that he had seen something. He rushed out with him and followed him his words still ringing in his ears.

When they finally stopped he listened to him again then sighed. "Listen to me Felix, how would you feel if it was me that was selling myself to a gang to protect you, I know you wouldn't like it either" He touched his face softly then brought his hand to his lips and kissed it softly. He shook his head. "No my swim team is my battle you have taken on enough with me, it might be easier if I just come out, the rumors are worse I think. But if we are ever seen together that is going to cause talking, are you prepared for that?"

He sighed at the next comments. The only person he cared more about then Felix was his sister, but he could beef up the security with her. He looked up at the man and gently kissed his lips. "I would walk through depths of hell for you, but is it what you want? I mean, is life better with them? Is there anyway that I can settle the debt for you?"

[Ekstaze]

They were getting no where question each other but they were losing time fast. If Felix was going to bolt from the gang he had to do it now however that mean leaving everything that he had acquired since being in the yakuza. He did have money saved up that they couldn't touch but all of his clothes were back at the house not to mention his phone. "I don't want you to give up anything for me Justin, I want to protect you and if I found out you were thinking about selling your body to save me I would stop you before you could do it" Felix told him and took a small step towards Justin, whether he was going to pull away from him or not Felix was going to hold him.

He wrapped his arms around Justin's shoulders and pulled him into a hug, he would stand there and hold him until Justin calmed down. "I want you. If you want me to live with you and be there with you every day then it's a done deal. I will leave with you right now but it has to be now, no second thoughts" he told Justin as he was trying not to start shaking himself. "Debts with the Yakuza cannot be settled so simply but that is another worry for another day. So what'll it be Justin? Stick with me through all of this or you can walk away? I've already made my decision and that's to be with you no matter what" Felix pulled back a little just to make sure he wasn't smothering Justin and so he could keep an eye on the streets for the yakuza members.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin could tell that he wasn't getting through to this man he frowned and sighed. The listened to him and nodded. He would give up nearly everything for this man. His sister would be safe though he would make sure of that. He sighed and then kissed his hands again. "Well its how I feel about you selling yourself for me" He poubted "I don't like to share either you know"

He allowed himself to be held. His heart ached this is what he had been missing. He smiled and hugged him back as the man agreed to live with him. He nodded. "Yes lets go now" He heard his comment about debts with the Yakuza he didn't tell Felix but he had plans to settle the debt for him, there had to be away to get Felix safe. He kissed his lips softly. "Lets get home" He grasped the mans hand and waited to see what he would do.

[Ekstaze]

Felix felt a twinge of something at the look in Justin's eyes, he couldn't tell what it was but there was no time to think about that right now. They were wasting even more time but that was probably Felix's fault, he couldn't make himself move any further. Some reason he wanted to stay right there, his mind made him think that if they were to move any further that Felix would lose Justin.

But they had to get out of there quickly "Lead the way" he told him in a soft tone and started to walk with him. Though questions started to fill his head, how would they get from here to where ever Justin lived without being noticed by the yakuza. Felix was sure that there were plenty others out looking for him or were those four it. He could only hope that the boss didn't want him that bad and would give up the search for him quickly. "Do you have a car or something? We can't just walk through town without getting noticed" Felix asked softly trying to think of something that would give them cover.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin saw that Felix wasn't moving was he changing his mind? He bit his lip getting ready to get rejected but then he heard those sweet words he grasped the mans hand and smiled. "I am glad I can get you safe" He smiled at his question and pulled out his phone.

"Yeah Taylor I am ready, bringing a friend" Suddenly a black limo came out. He knew it was his for the licence plate. He sighed and ushered Felix in. "Code three Taylor" The man nodded and made a call suddenly more limos surroned them and they were lost in the crowd. "Sorry about all of this but security is a big deal to my family"

When they got to the house Felix would see a gated house with a guard. Once they were inside Taylor drove them to the back of the building to where the pool house was. There were guards walking around and Justin smiled at the one guarding his door. He had his arm around Felix. "This man here is to have free range around the grounds, and triple the protection around Jess" He then walked into the pool house, which was more like a condo and turned to Felix. "You didn't eat at the café are you hungry?"

He walked over to him. "Are you sure this is what you want, I can get Taylor to drop you off at the club if you want, with enough money that would have made it worth your while to leave there."

[Ekstaze]

He never thought that he would hear those words from someone else and they were aimed at him. Someone wanted to make sure that he was safe, that was a hard thought to process but he let it go...for now. Felix watched as Justin pulled out a phone and then a limo pulled up. It was hard to keep a smile from his face, Justin thought this was a lot of security or that Felix would be upset about it. However he slipped into the limo and watched Justin interact with the driver.

At Justin's home he looked around at the building they drove by, he had already pinned Justin for being rich just by how much money the man had paid him before but this place was larger then he thought. Then they pulled up to another building 'Didn't he say he was living in the pool house?' He thought to himself as he looked the building over. This place looked like another home just smaller then the first one he saw on the property. Felix quickly followed Justin into the building and had to stop himself from gawking, this had to be some kind of a joke. There was no way a man of this status wanted to keep such a dirty guy around.

He shook his head at the offer of food, Felix was still trying to process what was to come. "I can't go back to that club" Felix told Justin softly as he continued to look around the place he would be staying and then turned to Justin. He walked straight up to him and embraced him in another hug but made sure that he could still see Justin's face. "I've been dying to do this since the moment I saw you again. I'm sorry if I scare you" he told him softly and then laid his lips upon Justin's, this was something he was needing. Those soft lips against his own, this warm body even as thin as it was it was still Justin. The man that he wanted so badly he risked everything for and finally had him back in his arms.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin shifted on his feet uncomfortably as he watched Felix take in his place. Would he stay when he saw all of this? His family was rich, owned many businesses. He knew that Felix was poor but he didn't care he loved this man, he just couldn't admit it even himself fully yet. He frowned when Felix again turned down food. "Baby you need to eat, you are worrying me" He touched the mans face again and had to bit his lip to stop the tears from falling.

When he said he couldn't go back he nodded. "Alright" He gasped as the man embraced him he hugged him back then relaxed. "This feels better" He murmered in his ear. He kissed him back and sighed. "Well if you wont eat, what do you want"

[Ekstaze]

Felix wanted to shake his head a little bit, why was he so intent on putting food down his throat. He had only missed eating one day...or was it two, whatever the number was it didn't matter. Justin was probably the one that needed to eat more then him 'Maybe he won't eat unless I do' Felix thought to himself as he now looked down into Justin's eyes. "There is one thing that I want but we need to get you healthier first. So how about we eat a light dinner to start off with and then tomorrow we can tackle a few things" Felix said softly and then there was a soft knock at the door making Felix tense a little bit.

"Justin?" A female voice came through the wooden door which made Felix look to Justin. Felix wondered who the girl was though his first thought was that it was Justin's sister, probably not the best person to find him here. Would she yell at him some more? Would she kick him off the property? There were several things that hadn't yet been resolved and Felix had just gotten there "I don't think your sister is going to be too happy about seeing me here" He finally voiced part of his concern to Justin assume that the owner of the voice was his sister. "How about I check out the rest of the place and give you two some space?" Felix told him but left no time for Justin to object and walked away from him to look at the rest of the building.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin knew he looked a mess but he was more worried about Felix. He was the one that looked like he had just been beat up, maybe that is what had happened. He suddenly wanted to kick someone, the person that did this to him. His body tensed and he barely heard the words but they slowly entered his mind and he blushed. "Hmm I want that too baby" He sighed and hugged him. "Maybe we can just cuddle with a movie for tonight" He moved in for a kiss when the knock came. He knew with all the security around it wouldn't be anyone dangerous and he smiled when he heard the voice. He was about to turn to Felix to introduce them when he bolted.

"Jess? I am in here" Jess entered and walked into her arms. "Why did you triple my guard?" She looked frightend. "Its just as a precaution" Jess looked at him. "Alright" Justin smiled "Now I don't want you to freak but I brought a friend home, and he told me that you messaged him" Jess paled in colour. "Jess I am not mad, but why did you do it" They talked for a bit longer and Justin was quickly able to convince her to meet him.

Justin took her by the arm and found Felix. Jess stayed close to Justin as if she was afraid of Felix, in fact she was just frightened of most males. "Felix I am sorry for my message I was just scared of losing my brother" She nodded to him. "I am Jessa"

[Ekstaze]

Felix made sure to take his time walking through the place, it was everything that he had dreamed of owning or at least coming close to owning. He had found his way to where the pool actually was and after seeing it wanted to take a dip in the enchanting calm water but held himself back from doing so. Instead he moved through the pool house a little more only to find himself near the living room area 'Should have walked slower' he thought to himself but that didn't last long when he came face to face with Justin's sister.

He pulled his arms together as if protecting himself, he figured that this girl was going to rip into him some more. It wasn't like he couldn't take her on but Felix would never raise a hand or his voice to a girl. In fact he would rather not have anything to do with women, they brought too much drama and were always so fragile. He relaxed his shoulders a little when it seemed like she wasn't going to yell at him but that could be because Justin was standing right there and it seemed like she was using him as a shield. That picture begged more questions and then remembered Justin saying something about her getting beat up as well. The light flicked on in his head and his whole demeanor changed, Felix complete bowed to Jess at the waist "Please forgive me for what has happened to your family and personally you. I am the cause for you getting beat up and your brother being put in the hospital. I know it will probably take time for myself to be completely forgive but I hope that you will let me try to make it up" Felix told her in a soft tone but strong enough for her to hear and stayed bowing to her waiting to see what her answer would be.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin was confused on how his sister was acting normally she was a fireball and he would have to hold her back this was a completely different Jess. The thought hit him. She was acting like this because of the way that he looked, like he had just been beat up. He swallowed hard and hugged his sister with one arm to help hold her up. She listened to what he said and then turned to watch what Jess would do.

Jess gasped as the man bowed before her. She broke from Justin's grasp and knelt down beside him and attempted to push him up. "Do not bow before me, we are equals, both given a bad hand in the beginning but have been given an other chance, I was only scared of losing my brother, but it looks like it was a good think that I sent that message, so you could come here and be safe as well" She had made herself lower then even Felix and waited.

[Ekstaze]

He stepped back a little when Jessa came into his field of vision and he straightened his back a little bit. Felix was shocked that she would put herself lower then himself when she did nothing but try to save her brother. "Jessa..." he started and then thought about gently pulling her to her feet but something told him that was a bad idea. Instead he sat down on the floor level with her "If we are equals then you shouldn't put yourself lower then me. You look to be a beautiful and strong woman so please do not lower yourself before this stained person" he told her softly and proceeded to get to his feet. Felix offered her a hand to help her up but did not grab for her and just waited for her to talk his hand if she did. He shifted his eyes to Justin for a brief second and gave him a smile hoping that he wasn't doing anything wrong.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Jessa didn't raise his head as he spoke. He bit his lip and then as he sat beside her she raised her head slightly she smiled softly blushing as he complemented her. She nodded softly then shook her head. "No you are not stained Felix, you are not stained" She took his hand and then stood. "Alright"

Justin simply smiled. His sister had a way about her, she still fell into some old habits and had flash backs like they both did. He walked to both of them. "How about we watch the movie together?" Jessa shook her head. "No I don't want to intrude." She looked to Felix. "Unless you both want me here"

[Ekstaze]

He felt a little proud of himself when she took his hand, earlier it had seemed like she thought he was going to hurt her but after they were both standing he smiled a little bit. She was rather cute in her own way but he still found himself look at Justin. It was hard to keep his eyes off the other man not to mention keep his thoughts clean about Justin. Felix mentally shook himself and turned his attention back to Jessa, he did want to spend the night with just Justin and make up the time he had lost but one look at Jessa and he knew that she needed some company as well.

Felix would be able to get all the time in the world with Justin later so he nodded his head "It would be nice to spend sometime with the person Justin values so much" he told her with a gentle smile. They could always cuddle later after the movie. "Um...so I don't know what kind of movies you guys have...er should I say don't have. I'm not exactly sure...well you see I've never had...I'm just going to shut up now" Felix tried to ask about movies and only found himself becoming more nervous as he realized the fact that Justin and himself were from two completely different worlds.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Jessa could tell that Felix wanted Justin to himself but was only agreeing to it for her. She shook her head. "You know I forgot to check in with my contact in Cambodia" She turned to Felix. "I have a origination that helps children that are trapped in the sex slave indrusty" She didn't say anymore but Justin looked at her. "Jessa" He warned Jessa shook her head "Don't worry plans changed I am unable to go" Jessa smiled "Tommrow lets go for a swim" She bowed slightly to Felix. "Please help me take care of Justin, he clearly cant do it himself" She then walked out and back into the main house.

Justin turned to Felix. "My sister had secretly made plans to go to Cambodia to rescue some of the youngest kids, she heard of ones young as 3 and 4 being sold to tourists." He shook his head and wrapped his arms around the other man. "We could go into the hottub if you want, or have some just time together" He frowned and kissed the mans forhead. "Please don't back away from me" He shook his head. "I was adopted into this"

He pulled him down onto the couch and held him stroking his body softly and kissing him on the lips. "What do you want?"

[Ekstaze]

Felix wondered if he made Jessa feel uncomfortable, he was trying to be nice but she still didn't stay. 'I must have done something wrong' he thought to himself but smiled anyways and watched the two interact. He was happy to have Justin all to himself but worried that he pushed Jessa to leave. Felix opened his mouth to stop her but was gone by the time he thought of what to say.

Receiving a warm embrace from Justin made his body relax once again, it was just nice being able to be close to him like this even though his mind worried about so many unnecessary things. "The ho-" Felix started to say but felt himself pulled in a direction, the hot tub did sound nice but once on the couch he didn't want to move. "You are very fortunate to have been rescued and find yourself in a nice place" he told Justin softly wishing that something like this had happened to him. Felix knew that not everyone could be saved and people learned to move on with their life but sometimes he wished that things could have been different. He could not say for certain if he would pull away from Justin because a part of him, deep inside, was jealous of what Justin had.

However Felix knew that there was one thing that he wanted and as he looked into Justin's eyes he smiled "All I want is you. If I were to not wake up tomorrow, I would have died happy knowing you are in my arms" Felix said and wrapped his arms around Justin pulling him closer to his body. With being so close to the man that he wanted Felix was finding it hard to resist his primal urges when he found his own hand sliding down the slender mans body.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Jessa made it back to her room and began to email her contacts. She had lied to Justin she still had plans on going. She just couldn't leave those babies there. She had planned on going there and freeing them. She had been sold as a child and just couldn't handle anyone in that situation. She knew it would freak out her brother and the security team, she knew that once she got to the airport they would be forced to come since she would refuse to go home. She was a stubborn and wanted to save the world.

Back it the pool house Justin sighed. "Yeah I know I was fortunate, took awhile to get here but yeah" He trailed off and kissed him. "I am sorry that I wasn't there for you earlier, I would have saved you" He held him and started to relax. He had a feeling that Felix would pull away. He didn't want to take him home for this reason.

He inhaled sharply as he felt the mans hand sliding up on his body. He knew that he had lost a lot of weight and he didn't have as much muscle tone has he used to. He ran his hand through the other mans hair and sighed. "I am happy you are here, I was lost without you"

[Ekstaze]

Part of Felix wanted to rejoice at this very moment but he knew that was probably over the top and not necessary. "Justin please stop. I know you wished you could have done something about what I went through but there was no way you would have even been able to get past the front gate" he told him. Felix could agree with Justin's words, he was happy to be here too even though he was breaking down with worry inside.

"Let's just put what happened aside and enjoy the fact that we have each others company again" Felix offered up, he really did want to enjoy tonight and he was tired of having his chest hurt with over thinking. "So what kind of movies do you have? I mean I might pass out if we watch a movie but some background noise would be nice...don't you think" he asked Justin, it wasn't that he didn't enjoy laying here talking to the man it was just the fact that it was way too quiet for his taste. When things were this quiet there was always something bound to go wrong.

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin simply nodded he would drop it for now. He held the man closer and sighed though. He hated himself. When Felix had left he had slipped into a deep depression when he should have fought, found Felix and saved him earlier. Him getting beaten up should have shown how lose he was to finding him. He held him tighter trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall.

He kissed the mans head and sighed. "Alright that sounds wonderful" He shrugged "I got almost every movie you could think of, comedy, horror, romantic" He paused and tickled the other man softly. "And fall asleep if you want, we could move to the bedroom, if I mean if you want, there is two if..." He stopped. "No I cant lie to you, I cant imagine not spending the night with you, I need to be with you, is that okay, for us to just lay in bed in each others arms watching movies just being with one another?"

[Ekstaze]

Felix remembered when they both were lying next to each other in the hotel with smiles on their face, now laying here with him and trying to smile was proving difficult. He was happy where he was but sad at the same time. Felix saw what he had done to Justin just by leaving and now it would take so much time to fix everything. Did they both have it in them to change things for them? Or would it fall through like all good things in his life?

He leaned his head down a little bit to kiss Justin on the head "I don't want you out of my sight even for a second. Heck if you have to go to the bathroom I'm going to be right here with you...I just want to make up every second that I was gone." Felix shifted a little bit to pull Justin closer to his body. "I'm thinking comedy for the movie and yes moving to a bed would be nice just in case I pass out."

[Xuxa_Rene]

Justin was watching Felix closely. There was a wall there that wasn't there before. He frowned shifting slightly nervously. He felt ashamed of all he had. It had driven a wedge between them but Justin just nodded and masked his hurt and fear on his face. He grabbed a couple comedies and led him to the bed room.

It had a queen size bed on it with a tv. He pointed to a door. "In there is the bathroom" he rubbed the back of his neck. "I am just going to go grab some drinks the movies are on that shelf go ahead and pick one" He left and came back with some water bottles and a couple cans of pop and even two meal replesments. He turned to Felix. "So you picked a movie?"

[Ekstaze]

He followed Justin to the room and looked around, it was nice and the bed looked very inviting. Felix could already feel himself falling asleep looking at it but then heard Justin mention the bathroom so he looked to note where it was. Then it seemed as those Justin bolted from the room "Did I just say I didn't want to be apart even for a second?" Felix said softly to himself after Justin had left. 'Probably wanted to get away from me after hearing that' he thought to himself but then turned to the shelf of movies and looked them over.

Felix was happy when he heard Justin's voice behind him and looked over his shoulder. The shelf of movies had been a bit overwhelming so he just grabbed a movie off the shelf and got to his feet "yeah, this one" he said quickly and then looked down at what he had picked out. Turns out he wanted to watch a romantic comedy, at least he had never seen it before "Hitch, is that alright with you?"

[Xuxa_Rene]

Smiling at the movie choice he popped it in and went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of pj pants and handed them to Felix. "For you to get more comfortable." He turned his back to him and stripped out of the jeans Felix would get a good look and the scars on his legs he put on the pj pants but left his shirt on he didn't want to disgust the other man.

He laid down on the bed and opened his arms for Felix as the movie began playing. The lights were dimmed and he waited to see if he would really come and lay with him.

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